(…continued from last week)
Shame and/or Inadequacy
Nearly everyone at some point has suspicions that they really aren’t very adequate or capable in some part of life. We develop this very early in childhood, and hopefully with the opposing sense that we are also okay.
Yet sometimes feeling shamed, feeling inadequate comes through. Better to say something like, “Okay, yes I did miss the target. I will work on it next time. I’ve got to find a better way to organize it myself so I don’t have to do that again.” Shame and inadequacy don’t really help you or the situation.
Of the six reactions to criticism – fear, anger, counter attack, denial or blaming, defense, shame and inadequacy, I mentioned that the most common of these is anger. Let’s talk about that for just a moment.
Steps to Anger
Anger has six steps to it. If you become angry you went through all six steps. The first two steps only create frustration. But as soon as you cross over from number two to number three, you have fallen into the trap of anger.
The Six Steps To Becoming Angry Are:
“I want my way.” You can want whatever you want. If you don’t get something you desire it is simply frustrating, not anger producing, it is just kind of uncomfortable inside.
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