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Energize Your Life – Use Your Brain For A Change (Part 1)


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Welcome! I’m Dr. Larry Iverson, our topic today is Energize Your Life – Use your Brain for a Change. I’m going to talk about central elements to running your brain more effectively and achieving what you desire easier and faster in the process.

Pleasure & Pain Drivers

A matter of months ago it was reported in the news that four boys, aged 13 to 16, attacked a homeless man while he slept. They beat him so severely he died. On the opposite end of that coin, there’s Mother Teresa of India. She lived her life in such a way that she spent all of her time assisting people in poverty to help them in the situation they were in. To assist the unfortunate, the starving masses.

There’s also people like Donald Trump, who really only thinks about himself versus somebody like Bill Gates, who is spending a significant portion of his and Warren Buffett’s fortune to help eradicate disease and help the entire planet. Read more »




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The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 8)


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(…continued from last week)

Power Sources During Negotiation

What are the power factors? The power that person A has over person B, is equal to the dependence person B has on person A.

What are some of the ways you can increase your strength or power in dealing with a difficult person or in a negotiation?

One is that you can use what’s called information power. You know something, or can do something that they want, or you know something or can do something that will change the situation. That’s information power.

Second is people power. You have a team behind you, you have people to share the risk with, you have others with talents or abilities that can help you get accomplished what you want; you steal some of their thunder by having people around you who can assist. Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 7)


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(…continued from last week)

Power Sources Within Negotiation

Think of dealing with this difficult person as if it’s a negotiation, because it is. If you’re in conflict, if you’re dealing with a negative attitude, then you are in a negotiation situation. Effective negotiation is not an adversarial relationship or a winner-take all experience. It’s the process of arranging terms with other people, it’s the settling of issues by joint decision-making between you and it’s the exchange of ideas to facilitate change in the relationship or in the situation.

Sir Francis Bacon, in his book Of Negotiating, said, “If you would work any man, you must either know his nature and fashions, and so lead him; or his ends, and so persuade him; or his weakness and disadvantages, and so awe him; or those that have interest in him, and so govern him. In dealing with cunning persons, we must ever consider their ends, to interpret their speeches. And it is good to say little to them, and that which they least look for. In all negotiations of difficulty, a man may not look to sow and reap at once, but must prepare business, and so ripen it by degrees.” Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 6)


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(…continued from last week)

The Difference in People

One of the things that we can do to be more effective in dealing with other people is to understand their style. People react differently.

You can say the exact same words in the exact same tone and manner to several people and get many different reactions. To communicate and lead effectively, to deal with another person, to manage a conflict situation or a difficult person, you need to vary your manner to be maximally effective in dealing with different people.

There are four different styles of individuals you’ll deal with. There’s the demanding person, there’s the relationship oriented person, there’s the steady person and there’s the perfectionist. When you’re dealing with a difficult person, no matter what their style is, the better you understand them, the more likely it is you’re going to move through the conflict. So let’s look at each of these styles. Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 5)


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(…continued from last week)

Options Do Happen

To deal effectively with a difficult person, we need to be able to observe them and notice what they’re doing. If someone suddenly becomes more difficult, irritable or angrier than usual, it often times is a sign of emotional stress or that something has changed in their world. If that person seems depressed, or angry, or overly sad, in many cases, you may be able to give feedback or be able to talk to them in ways to solve things or at least, at a minimum, calm them down.

Most people become difficult to deal with when they’ve lost the ability to handle the stresses or the changes in their life. Some people flow through change more easily; many have a very difficult time.

There are approximately 30% of the people you’ll encounter who love change, they thrive on it. The rest of the people you deal with have, to some degree, a difficult time as a result of changes they’re going through. Sometimes it can upset their stomach, sometimes it gives them a headache, in some cases it just makes them more grumpy or growly. Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 4)

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(…continued from last week)

Beginning to Manage Conflict

In all human experience there is the potential for conflict. There are only two forms—conflicts inside of you, with yourself, or conflicts between you and other people. No matter what the conflict is, part of it is controllable and part of it is not, and the only part that is controllable is you, how you manage yourself, what you do, what you say.

The 4 Types of Conflict

There are only four types of conflicts you can have with a person who is being difficult.

First, there’s a conflict of roles and responsibilities, who’s to do what, who’s got the power, who has authority, whose territory is it, who’s supposed to be responsible for what’s going on, what’s the person’s knowledge of the subject, who has the most knowledge.

The second is a goals and needs conflict, what information is needed, what are the goals you’re trying to achieve, what result are you trying to attain, what need you are trying to fill. Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 3)

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(…continued from last week)

Upside and Downside to Conflict

Every difficult person you deal with, every conflictual experience you face in life is rich with both positive and negative potential. It can be a source of tangible or intangible gain, inspiration, enlightenment, learning, growth, or anger, fear, shame, or guilt, feeling trapped or feeling resistant. The choice really is not up to the difficult person but it’s up to us and our willingness to face and work through the situation.

When you are dealing with that difficult person and the conflict begins, you need to find ways to maintain personal control which means giving up the scenario of seeing ourselves as the victim, as picked on, as the person who’s in the downward position.

We don’t have to see the other person as the enemy. It requires that we give up our fear of engaging in honest communication with somebody even if you distrust them or even if they are blasting into you at the moment. Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 2)

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(…continued from last week)

Getting Resourceful

When dealing with a difficult person it causes us to become more resourceful. You have to figure out new and innovative ways to manage the situation and deal with them. In many cases it will cause you to become a better communicator, to be able to think on your feet, to manage the situation, and to try new things you’ve never done before.

Not all parts of dealing with a difficult person are bad, though there is a dark side to the conflict that you deal with.

When people are in conflict they often times say things that they don’t mean, and they mean things that never get said. Rarely do we communicate at the deepest level what we really mean, what we honestly feel and what really is being thought. Rarely do people expose their most vulnerable parts.

In a conflict we find that other people frequently don’t hear us. Why do people fall into this trap? Why is it so hard to do what we need to do and to manage the situation with this difficult person in an honorable way? Why do buttons get pushed? Read more »




The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 1)

Order and download this entire eight-part audio program.


Welcome to “The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations”.

Conflict is normal, having run-ins with others is normal, unless you live alone, hide away in a cave, never talk with anyone else, you will have conflicts, it’s part of life. Yet how effectively you deal with the conflict situations and difficult people when they come by, is really up to you.

I’m going to give you multiple strategies to help you better deal with those situations you encounter in your life. In every case there’s an emotional response that people get when conflict happens. Quite often the people you deal with are getting some sort of emotional payoff by being negative. How do you take away the emotional payoff they get for being negative? We’ll talk about how to do that. Read more »