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Are You Credible and Believable?

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 14 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

Being Credible or Being Approachable

A major component of having a powerful presence is having credibility, or approachability and being charismatic. Being credible or being approachable.

You can be credible and believable, or you can be charismatic, approachable and likable. But you cannot use the skills of credibility at the same time you’re using the skills of likability and charisma. If you do people will think you are either lying to them or you’re trying to con them. You can move back and forth between them fairly quickly but you cannot do them at the same time.

One of our US presidents got in trouble with the media again and again because he would have this tough message to deliver, but while he was doing it he was grinning at the camera and acting like a good old boy. It did not work. You need to watch out for that as well.
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Watch What Your Mind Is Telling You!

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 13 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

Internal Computations

Your internal computations are the self-talk inside of your head and the self-talk inside of the other person’s head. What are you thinking, what are you telling yourself? Is it positive? Is it negative? It shows; watch what your internal dialogue is.

You need to get a handle on what’s going on inside of your head because if you don’t manage that, especially if you are presenting or interacting with someone else and trying to create presence, it can pull the props right out from under you and the presentation.
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How Can You Enhance Your Message?

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 12 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

Match Their Style

So when you want to enhance your persuasiveness, when you want to make your presence more engaging, listen to how they talk. The visual person moves more quickly, uses more word pictures, they want less interaction. The auditory moves more slowly and wants more detail. They want more dialogue. The kinesthetic takes that even further. Pay attention, you need to be able to discern the persons’ style so you can match it.

You need to be skillful enough that you can catch which style the person you are dealing with is using. It’s central to being persuasive, to having presence. If you are in front of a group and you are presenting something, giving a speech, a lecture, giving them a report of some kind, you need to use all three styles.
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What Is Your Persuasion Style?

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 11 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

One of the biggest challenges for dealing with people is matching the communication styles. Remember 70% of the population is visual, 20% are auditory and 10% are kinesthetic or feeling oriented. When you are communicating with others, whether it’s one on one or in a group, you need to make certain that you are touching bases with all of them. That you are using those styles effectively. Let’s talk about how you do that to enhance your persuasiveness.

The Visual Person

If you are dealing with someone who is highly visual you need to move through things more quickly. You move fast, you don’t stop, you don’t pause. It is a much more rapid movement. You’re working on big pictures. You’re talking about words in such a way that they create an image.
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How Much Physical Contact Is Appropriate?

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 10 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

How to Improve Your NonVerbal Communication, Part IV

The seventh is physical contact. If you are a toucher that’s ok, but watch out. There are people out there you are liable to walk up to and give one of those bear hugs, who is not ready for you. Watch out what you do.

Ever heard of sexual harassment? Pay attention when shaking hands with someone there are people out there who a hand shake is too much physical contact. So if they stick their hand out to shake hands with you, for you to grab their hand and hold it for two or three minutes is a little much. Watch what you are doing.

The physical contact, the touch on the shoulder or arm or handshake, watch how you do that. It’s sends a message and you can overdo it. This goes back to space and proximity. Am I too close, am I too far away? What’s appropriate? You need to think about the situation and what’s appropriate. Watch the physical contact.

Tone Of Voice

Another of the dimensions of nonverbal communication is tone of voice.
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Is Your Face Doing All The Talking?

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 9 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

How to Improve Your NonVerbal Communication, Part III

Another aspect of this nonverbal communication is how you use your gestures.

There are people who gesture so much it’s like they are a windmill, waving their arms and hands all over the place, all of the time. Don’t overdo it. A little gesturing with your hands or arms is a good thing. It shows connection, it shows movement back and forth between you. Think about what you do.

Have you ever seen one of these dances like the hula where their hands are so expressive? They tell the entire story by how they move their body and how they move their hands to do incredible things. Or watch the mime. Pay attention to how you gesture and use your physiology. Again, it sends a message.

Body Posturing

The fifth of these interactions is how you hold your body. If you are talking to someone and they are slumped down in their chair, they have their chin resting on their hand, as they stare at the floor, their legs are spread apart, their face is slack, maybe mouth is hanging open as they are listening to you—does that send a message? Absolutely.
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Don’t Look Now… Your Body Language Is Telling Us Everything!

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How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 8 of 16)


(…continued from last week)

How to Improve Your NonVerbal Communication, Part II

Second aspect of an exceptional nonverbal communicator is the ability to use eye contact. We live in a very diverse culture. There are people who their whole lives have been told to keep their eyes averted, keep them down because it’s rude to stare. You’ll meet other people who have been told to make sure they always look people in the eye, that way they know you are paying attention.

So what do you do? These numbers will hold true for the majority of people you interact with. If you look someone in the eye less than 25% of the time they will make one of a few assumptions. They will assume 1. you don’t like them, or 2. you aren’t listening to them or 3. you have something to hide.

If you look someone in the eye more than 75% of the time they will think you are staring at them. The appropriate amount is about 50% of the time.
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