The question was, “Imagine if…Sydney (my daughter) was a sweater, what kind of sweater would she be?” Varsity, Holiday, Cardigan, Cashmere, Ratty or Fuzzy were the choices.

Only a few people got it right. The answer Syd and her brother Nick chose for her was “Holiday”. Why? Because Sydney “IS” a holiday. In her attitude, her actions, the way she lives her life, etc. she is a “Holiday”.

A direct example of Sydney as “Holiday” is: As soon as Thanksgiving Dinner is completed and dishes done, Syd starts dragging out all the Christmas boxes and unpacking them. She has done this since she was little. Her passion and enthusiasm for much of life is the spirit of a holiday in many, many ways.

The purpose of this story is to prod you to “Be”. Be good fortune, be an author, be the best friend in the world, be an exceptional parent, be the embodiment of what you want your life to be or become.

Because it’s an absolute fact, you are a “Holiday”—you are “Good Fortune”. Don’t settle for less. Your life is an active sport. Don’t sit and watch it roll by like you are a “spectator”—YOU ARE NOT!

Each moment is a moment to make a difference for you and for others that cross your path. Imagine the possibilities—and then step into them, and be the “Holiday”!

In Transactional Analysis there are three major components to consciously managing ones life. They are: Awareness—Choice—Control.

Awareness is recognizing what is going on around you and within you in your life situations. It is noticing how others are behaving and speaking, and your response to those interactions. Awareness is becoming conscious of the various options you and they both have as you deal with each other.

Choice is about what you are giving your focus to. Everything people do is the result of a choice. Someone will say, “I have to work I don’t have a choice. If I don’t show up for work I will get fired.” They still have a choice, though they may not like the choice of getting fired it is still within their options to go to work or not go to work.

What you are doing, or not doing, is the result of your choices. There are definitely times when you may not feel like you have a choice, but what you really don’t like are the options you have in front of you within the choices.

The third aspect of living consciously is control. First you become aware of the patterns of you and others, and what’s going on around you—then second you make choices about the actions you will or won’t take. Through this awareness and your choices you will either gain, lose or maintain control.

By thinking about situations you will encounter ahead of time, you can preprogram more appropriate responses. Through this thinking ahead you gain control. This doesn’t mean you have to plan out every moment of your day, yet in challenging situations you know you will encounter choose strategies that are most effective in helping you manage the interactions.

Live more consciously through awareness and choice, and by so doing, you will gain more control. Nudge your brain into success….

Do you ever get discouraged? You wonder sometimes how you’re going to keep going? Do the trials you go through at times seem like they are just too much? Well you can overcome all of this.

When you have enthusiasm and passion for what you want, it keeps you moving. The bigger dream combined with passion, helps you manage the rough spots and keep going.

You must be solution focused, instead of problem focused. Yes, there are problems. And, you can spend all of your time thinking about them—which will absolutely discourage you.

Or, you can acknowledge the problem, but spend more time focused on solutions. This solution focus supports your dreams.

You can be, you can do, and you can achieve, whatever you desire. The only killer of your dreams is you. Open yourself up to the great possibilities you have. What you can achieve is literally limitless.

At the beginning of each day is a fork in the road. One path is doing things just how you have always done them. The other path, is doing something new or different. There are times to continue on the path you’re on. Other times, strike out in a new direction on a new path.

You deserve success. Hold to your dreams and take action, and you can have whatever you desire.

We live in a very diverse world. On any given day you will cross paths with people who grew up in a different country. They speak a different language, have different customs, like different foods, and so on.

You will meet people who have been told all their life to keep their eyes averted and look down, because it is rude to make eye contact. You will meet others who have been told always make sure to look people in the eye so they know you are paying attention. The majority are somewhere between these two.

Here are some statistics researchers have found that works for the majority of people you meet, even those from another culture.

If you look someone in the eye less than 25 percent of the time, they will make one of a few assumptions. They will think either: you are not paying attention to them, you don’t like them, you are afraid, or you have something to hide. These assumptions may not be correct, but most people will believe one of these.

If you look someone in the eye more than 75 percent of the time, they will think you are staring at them. No one likes to be stared at. It triggers nervousness within the person who is being looked at.

Making eye contact about 50 percent of the time is normal. You look at them, you glance away at something, you look back at them, you look at something else, etc. This is how the majority of interactions play out.

If there is one of these eye contact scenarios used more than others, it is looking at people too long. How do you know if you are staring at someone? If you are making eye contact and they look away and then look back and you are still making eye contact, that is okay. If they look away again, and you are still looking at them when they look back this time—you are staring at them.

Then it’s time for you to intentionally break eye contact for a moment. Look away, then look back. Try this as an experiment and notice how less than 25 percent or more than 75 percent eye contact stimulates a very different reaction from the person you are talking with. This simple rapport skill can make a major impact—positive or negative.

There are four kinds of conflict you can experience.

First is conflict of roles and responsibilities. In this is: who’s responsible for the task or the situation, what are the roles people have, who has the power or the authority, whose territory is this, who has the upper hand, what is the leadership structure and where is each person in the hierarchy, and so on. This happens frequently, and is normally about power structure.

Second is conflict of goals and needs. This is about: what results are we trying to obtain, what outcome is to be achieved, what do people need in the situation, what information is lacking or needs to be clarified. It’s about where people are trying to get to. To manage goals and needs conflicts information is usually needed. Clarifying where the person or organization is trying to get to is essential.

Third is conflict of values and beliefs. This pertains to what people think is important. It’s about what you value in your life. It has to do with what you believe about people, fairness, money, relationships, politics, the environment, etc. Values and beliefs conflicts are what wars are fought over.

Fourth is conflict of perceptions or point of view. This is just the way one person sees something vs. how another does.

Over 80 percent of all conflict is conflict of perception. Why? Because we are different. We all are older, younger, richer, poorer, more educated, less educated, male, female, grew up in different environments, in different parts of the country, liking different hobbies, liking different types of entertainment, and so on.

The best way to manage conflict of perception is to step back, and view the situation from a detached perspective. By getting some distance from the situation, and looking at it as more of a neutral observer, you can see both sides more clearly.

From this detached position it is easier to understand the other persons point of view. Everyone likes to think they are right, yet we need to open up and looked at situations from the other persons perspective.

You do need to be willing to stand your ground and have conflict. Yet knowing the majority of conflict is not because one person is right and the other is wrong, but just because we see things from different vantage points, can lessen the struggle.

Mr. Hope’s humor is about the perspective we hold—and about ones’ attitude.

Studies have documented that over 80% of all conflicts, are conflicts of perspective. It’s the way one person sees it vs. how the other person does. It’s not that one individual is totally right, and the other totally wrong, but instead quite often it’s just that there’s a difference in point of view.

We all want to be right. Have you ever sat back and watched other people argue? Each person believes they are correct. If they didn’t, there would be no argument.

Standing up for your perspective is essential to your self-esteem. You must believe in you and what you see as truth. Yet don’t be blinded by the concept that there is only one way to do something.

Pick a positive perspective. Believe in possibilities and opportunities. Are there struggles? Sure there are, yet a positive perspective can boost you in getting beyond your limitations.

All too often people discourage themselves from taking their desired action. In the same way you would encourage a small child to try something new, you need to do the same for yourself. Be patient with yourself as you move through the many aspects of your life.

Positive attitude and open perspective are required for achievement and fulfillment. For the rest of your day today, have both of these. You may find you like it enough to even do it again tomorrow…. Enjoy!

Wouldn’t it be great if others just did what they need to do when they need to do it? Or, wouldn’t it be nice if those around you who really needed guidance (even if they don’t know it!) would just listen? But, what’s the only thing you really can control? Yourself of course….

Since you can’t control all the people around you, you need to manage your skillfulness at dealing with them. The more effective you become at verbal and nonverbal communication, the more likely it is that people will move the direction you desire.

Since the only thing any of us can control is ourselves, we must become masterful. For your life to work, you cannot just sit on the sidelines and be a spectator. You are an active participant! This day of your life is not a rehearsal. This is the World Series—today and every day!

Even if you wanted to sit out the “game” you can’t. You are making choices about your level of involvement with every action you take or action you pass on taking.

Don’t just settle for whatever happens to drift by. Make things happen. Step up. Pick your focus, and launch yourself.

Whatever the next thing is you’re doing, you have the opportunity to make a difference for yourself and others. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want in the world.” We will all be enriched and benefit by what you do, and who you become. This benefit holds especially true for you, who made the positive life change….

Few people actually like that discomfort. The vast majority of people do everything in their power to stay within their comfort zone. This isn’t bad but it greatly slows progress.

Our comfort zones are protection mechanisms that have existed in human beings for millennia. They can help us or they can hinder us.

People resist change for only a few reasons: lack of knowledge or skill, physical or resource restrictions, negative mental projections of a bad outcome, discomfort, or fear. Taking time—analyzing the situation—clarifying the pro’s and con’s, are all good processes. Yet if these are really stall tactics—catch the stall, and bump the comfort zone boundary.

In order to get through resistance to change, it’s crucial to have curiosity. When we begin to wonder, our mind opens up. All discoveries start by asking questions. Every question starts from curiosity.

To break through resistance to change ask high-quality, solution focused questions. Asking the question, “What’s one thing I can do to get started on this process right now?” opens your mind to the possibility that something can be done.

This does not mean you need to ignore the problem, just don’t get buried in it. Use solution focused questions to start your creative imagination working for you.

Every day you stand at a fork in the road. One branch of that fork is going down the road of doing the same things you’ve always done in the same way you’ve always done them. The other branch, is the new path.

Make today the day you ask new solution focused questions about your work, relationships, creativity, finances, hobbies, and health. Go for it—you deserve the best!

The pathway between hoping for something and having it—is action. To have the life you desire requires doing—usually a massive amount of doing.

When you see someone like Michael Phelps, Kobe Bryant, Merle Streep or others at the top of their “game”, what you don’t see is the massive hours they put in practicing. It looks flawless on delivery, because they have worked extremely hard to have mastery within their craft.

For each of us there are boundless opportunities. But to achieve any goal requires movement. You have to choose you.

Have you hear the phrase, “Many are called but few are chosen.”? If you are on the planet—you’ve been called. And you have to do the choosing, of what the special things are that only you can do. You must choose you to step up and make a difference.

Do you ever encounter barriers? Without a doubt. Will there be people who say you’re wasting your time? Certainly. Do you think discouragement might happen during your action process? Plan on it. And through it all only you can actually stop you from taking action.

You don’t have to be the most brilliant of all people to make a difference. You can take action in your own unique way—starting the next second!

You don’t have to wait for anyone to give you permission. You have to be self-led. Think about what you want, make a plan, choose your first step on that plan, put your brain and body in gear—and go!

There are three traits that make an absolute difference in being an effective leader—whether that’s leading a team of thousands, or leading only ones’ self.. Reliability, responsiveness, and personal accountability. You are the one who chooses to step up or not.

It’s great to pick the low hanging fruit first. Yet, never forget that you need to also get up in the tree and reach higher.

Make a commitment to yourself to act. Get excited and reach higher through continuous learning and practice. Bring your desired outcomes ever closer through ongoing, consistent movement toward your goals.

You can be, you can do, and you can have, whatever you desire and are willing to take action to achieve. Stand up and go for it!

The start of your day is as important as any race you will ever run. How do you begin it? When your alarm goes off, do your eyes pop open and you think to yourself, “Today is going to be another great day!” or, like most people do you whack the snooze button ten times, while you doze and grumble about having to get up.

After you’re out of bed, do you focus on the good things you get to experience today? Or, do you mentally mutter to yourself about a chill in the air, that the coffee isn’t made, that you have to go to work today, and that the darned dog needs to be walked!

You can choose to be a fast, positive waker-upper. Or you can be a droopy, slow waker-upper. What you are telling your self in the beginning of your morning is a major factor.

If you are focused on the positive things to come, you get going faster. Energize the first minutes of your morning with a happy, enthusiastic internal dialogue, and colorful, rich mental images of your potential day—starting as soon as you awaken!

Watch what you are focusing on. Be certain you are putting positive thoughts and energy into each moment of your day. It is easier to just let your mind wander where it will. But just like with a child, if you don’t give them boundaries and point them in the right direction, they will probably do things you don’t approve of. Do not allow the negative to just ramble around in your brain.

Be proactive! Leap out of the “starting blocks” of each morning, into your own positive, successful day. Choose to be the reason that your day starts on a positive, up note. Intentionally send your mind that direction.

Start every morning with a smile. Choose it. Make it happen. It’s up to you. Each moment is rich with opportunity. Start strong.