The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations (Part 8)
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(…continued from last week)
Power Sources During Negotiation
What are the power factors? The power that person A has over person B, is equal to the dependence person B has on person A.
What are some of the ways you can increase your strength or power in dealing with a difficult person or in a negotiation?
One is that you can use what’s called information power. You know something, or can do something that they want, or you know something or can do something that will change the situation. That’s information power.
Second is people power. You have a team behind you, you have people to share the risk with, you have others with talents or abilities that can help you get accomplished what you want; you steal some of their thunder by having people around you who can assist.
There’s also the power of resources. You control the resources, you have control over the money, the people, the facilities, the tools. So the power of resources, things you can bring to bear, to have things lean your direction.
Investment power is another. Investment power can be resources like money, but a major aspect of investment power is the time someone spends working on something makes them more likely to want to resolve the difficulty. Investment power I think of as the time that they’ve put in on something.
Another power source is the power of reward. Giving them something for going along; giving them something for changing the negative attitude.
Another is the power of punishment. The majority of people, if they see they’re going to lose, if they see they’re going to wind up on the downside of the difficulty, will stop. The power of punishment, even if it’s just implied, makes a difference.
The power of persistence; sticking in there, keeping going, going back again and again and again, being tenacious about something, is a strength, is a source of power.
The eighth source is the power of precedent. If you can show that in similar situations in the past, here’s how they were resolved, most people are more likely to go along with this because of policies, procedures, rules, regulations or what is common courtesy. In many cases, the power of precedent works.
The power of fairness; if you can show it’s fair, this is the best thing for them, the best thing for you; most people will tend to go along with it because they want to be thought of as a reasonable person.
The power of legitimacy—cards, brochures, printed forms, this can be a hardball strategy once again. The power of legitimacy makes a difference. Years ago, there was an example by Allen Funt who did a program called Candid Camera. He had a gentleman dressed up looking like a State Trooper who put a roadblock on an Interstate Freeway going into the state of Delaware and on it was a sign that said “Delaware closed”.
People would pull up and stop at this sign and he would say, “Sorry, we’ve closed the state of Delaware.” People would look at him, look at the sign, shrug their shoulders, turn around and go the other direction. Do you think you could really close the state? I don’t think so, but that’s the power of legitimacy, it looks like a police officer, it’s an official looking board, there’s a big sign, a professionally printed sign that says “Delaware closed”. It must be right and they go the other way.
The power of attitude; if you’re relaxed, if you have a confident demeanor, if you remain composed, if you’re assertive, but not overly assertive; these things show strength in your position. The other person’s more likely to work with you and give in to what you want, if you have this power of attitude.
Decreasing Your Dependence On Them
In addition to the ways to build your power, are ways of decreasing your dependence on the other person.
There’s the power of alternatives; having other options for getting what you want. There’s the power of objectivity, keeping emotional distance, staying detached, and third is the power of attitude. You need to take care of you. Your own attitude, in many cases, will help you or defeat you in dealing with a difficult person. You must take care of yourself, it’s central to the process.
Improving Your Strategy
Knowing how to lead difficult individuals away from unproductive situations to more effective performance and better communication is crucial.
Remember, there are only four different kinds of conflict and in those there are multiple ways of dealing with it. Use the understanding of that person’s style to make a difference in how you deal with them. Remember the dos and the don’ts.
Also use the negotiation power sources and strategies for decreasing dependence on the other person. You can manage the situation very effectively, it’s up to you.
By using these strategies for managing difficult people your life will get easier. You can have the outcomes you desire as you get better and better at communicating and dealing with difficult people.
It is inevitable you’re going to run into conflicts—plan on it. Make a plan ahead and know how you’re going to deal with these different styles in ways that are beneficial to both you and them.
This concludes “The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations”. Please stay tuned next week for an all new program that can improve your relationships, your success, and your life for good!
The best of success to you!
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Posted: March 18th, 2015 under Audio Programs.
