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Wake Up! Breaking Out of Unconscious Patterns That Hold You Back (Part 3)

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(…continued from last week)

Accept and Move On

For years on the wall of my office, I’ve had a plaque with the saying called Salutation to the Dawn, it came from Sanskrit. It applies to this living in day focused timeframes.

The Salutation to the Dawn says,

“Look to this day, for it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course lie all the varieties and realities of your existence.

The bliss of growth, the glory of action, the splendor of beauty.

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision.

Yet every today well lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day, such is the salutation to the dawn.”

Acceptance of What Is

Dr. William James, one of the fathers of modern psychology, used to tell his students, “Be willing to have it so, because acceptance of what has happened is the first step of overcoming any misfortune.”

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Three Steps to Improved Self Management

#1 Analysis

He said there are three steps that can make this easier to do. First, you need to analyze the situation you are in, or the one that just happened that you are worried about coming back at you. Or you need to analyze the situation that potentially could be coming at you in the future.

You need to look at those past/future situations fearlessly and honestly and figure out what is the worst that could happen as a result of that problem or failure.

If you’re worried about something in your past, what is it that has happened that concerns you today that may come back on you? If you are worried about a possible outcome in the future, what is it that you are scaring yourself with?

Or if it is something that’s going on right now, think about what is the worst that could happen? Is someone going to kill you? Are you going to go to jail? Is it an absolutely certainty that this is going to happen? There may be a chance that bad things will happen, but there is also a chance that things may not be as bad as they seem.

#2 Acceptance

After analyzing the situation honestly and thinking about the worst that could possibly happen (coming at you from the past, present, or future) then second you need to reconcile yourself to accepting it if it does happen. In other words, if the worst possible thing that can happen does happen–can you deal with it?

And the answer to “Can you deal with it?” is absolutely “YES” you can deal with it.

You need to tell yourself, this failure may be a blow to my record. It might cost me my job. It may strain my relationships, but I can come back.

Conditions can be very bad but it’s just an experience. It’s an experience that may cost me money, may cause me stress, may slow my progression in my work and finances–but I can deal with it!

#3 Relax

After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and you reconcile yourself to it if it were to occur, you then begin immediately to relax. It happens automatically.

So the third part of this process that Dr. James taught is, from that moment forward, after you have analyzed the experience and thought of the worst that could happen, accepted that you will deal with it, you devote your energy, your time, your focus to moving on. You accept what may happen, and resolve to move on. That’s right. You live in day focused timeframes.

You first look at what is the worst that can happen. Second, after thinking about that, you reconcile yourself to dealing with it if it does. Can you deal with it? The answer is “YES”, you can deal with just about anything. You may not like it, it may feel terrible, it may upset you, it may cause havoc in your life, but you can deal with it. You reconcile yourself to deal with it, and then thirdly, you then vow to yourself that if the worst happens you will deal with it and move on.

You figure out ways and means, things that you can do to move on from the loss of money, relationship, job, time, health challenges. You reconcile yourself to that and you figure-out what you can do to move on beginning right now.

You live in a day focused compartment, at this moment in time, and you move forward. Just like Dr. James said, “Be willing to have it so.”

In other words, I may not like it, but that may be what happens. And if that is what happens, I can deal with it. I’ve dealt with tough things before; I can deal with tough things again.

(to be continued…)


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