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Finessing How You Communicate

Part 6


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(…continued from last week)

Pay Attention to The Signals

We have to be conscious, it’s really imperative that we pay close attention to the nonverbal signals given by the other person’s body language. This shows you whether or not you are in sync. When you receive clues showing matching behavior you can shift your physiology. If the person mirrors you or adopts what you are doing, then you have that connection, you are doing the dance of rapport. When you receive this complementary signal you can proceed from nonverbal leading to leading on a verbal level. This is an appropriate time to suggest an idea, promote or change in the intensity of the interaction or proceed to help the person move into a more empowered state or accept an idea.

Nonverbal Communicator
According to recent studies nonverbal signals communicate more powerfully than words.
Learn more »

People must feel a connection to you first if you want them to buy into what you are doing and what you are suggesting. In the majority of situations your ability to effectively pace others will be a deciding factor in whether you succeed or fail with them.

Would you like to make enough money to be able to buy what you want? Would you like to be able to afford great vacations, a superb house, nice toys? To pay for education, retire well to-do and much more? To do this you need to run your brain and you need to be able to connect with other people and be an exquisite communicator.

If you look at the most successful people in any field there are common threads; they manage themselves incredibly well, they stick to doing what needs to be done, they are mentally positive, they have encouraging beliefs that assist them in achieving, and they are usually effective communicators with others who are important to their success.

Take control of yourself, keep increasing your skills and build positive interactions with others. Your future depends on it, you can do this, you can have what you want.

Choose to Communicate Masterfully

Sir Francis Bacon in a brief writing of his called “Of Negotiating” said, “If you would work any man you must either know his nature and fashions, and so lead him; or his ends and so persuade him; or his weaknesses and disadvantages, and so awe him; or those that have interest in him, and so govern him. In dealing with cunning persons, we must ever consider their ends, to interpret their speeches, and it is good to say little to them and that which they least look for. In all negotiations of difficulty, one may not look to sow and reap at once; but must prepare the business, and so ripen it by degrees.”

Sir Francis was talking about pacing, leading, communicating effectively and attending.

The most frequent type of conflict we have is conflict of perception. Of the four primary kinds of conflict–goals and needs, roles and responsibilities, basic values, and conflict of perception–somewhere between 75% to 80% of conflicts stem from different perspectives. Whether you are experiencing an incompatible point of view with another or an internal conflict within yourself, your perception of the situation is most often the main issue. Again, as Einstein said “Truth is fact but perception is reality.”

The words said to you or the words you say to others are only a small part of communication. If body language and nonverbal behaviors don’t line up with the words being spoken, there is a conflict. If there is a disagreement between verbal and nonverbal the nonverbal message is believed first nearly every time.

Having congruency is key to effective interactions. Congruence is a process of matching or having systems aligned, whether the system is your thoughts and feelings, your body language and words you say or your interactions with another person, the match or mismatch will affect the outcome.

(to be continued…)


Has this program caught your interest? Just can’t wait to hear the next segment? Or perhaps you’d like to download the entire program to your phone or tablet and listen during your travels? You can purchase and immediately receive this entire program as a digital download. You will receive all 8 audio segments, plus a 20 page PDF transcript! Order Now: Finessing How You Communicate

The Nonverbal Communicator
Command Authority Without Saying A Word! According to recent studies your nonverbal signals communicate more powerfully than your words. What do your body language, clothing choice, and vocal intonation say about you? Knowing exactly what you want to communicate by your body language can be the difference between winning the sale, getting the job, or influencing groups of people to your point of view or not.