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(…continued from last week)

Apply Understanding Liberally

In all of your relationships you need to think first, what can I give to this relationship? And then second, what can I get from the relationship? It’s all about giving and getting. No one is so altruistic that they will do anything indefinitely without some kind of a payoff.

Overview all of your relationships, especially those where you’re communicating effectively. What are you giving to that relationship, what are you doing to make it better for the people around you personally and/or professionally? What are you doing to enhance their reality, and what am I getting back? Because the give and take human experience makes logical sense to each of us internally.

We hear people say, “I feel like I’m being taken for granted.” What is the message behind that? What are they really saying?

His/her statement is saying they feel as though they are not receiving any positive input. When someone feels taken for granted, it’s because they’re not hearing input on the value they’re creating for someone else. They’re not receiving smiles, hugs, notes, comments, or whatever about what they’ve done that’s benefitted the people around them. Everyone does what they do because they want to receive a reward (tangible or intangible) for their contribution.

Have you ever felt used? Why did you have that experience? That happens because you’re giving and giving and not feeling or receiving any feedback from others acknowledging what you’ve done.

People surrounding you need to be receiving positive feedback that acknowledges their contribution.

Take a Moment to Acknowledge

When you let someone know you appreciate what they did, you are honoring his or her individuality. If they’re sharing something that’s of benefit to you or someone else, you need to let them know that. Create positivity and happiness–good things in a relationship. If you are receiving something and it’s changing your life or helping you in any way, then let them know that. Give back to them.

Give something to them (an acknowledgement) just as you have received something from them. It helps build trust and opens communication. You’re creating an environment where each person can be more engaged. By so doing, you create a connection both mentally and emotionally.

As that relationship evolves you are balancing both the personal piece of being connected as a human being with the positive action oriented movement that needs to happen. In every relationship, whether it’s your work or your home, there are chores to do and there are emotional experiences to share in every situation.

We need to make certain that each of us is giving to the other person in such a way that they know we are acknowledging what they’re doing; they need to hear us appreciate them. At the same time, we need to also make certain that as they give to us we let them know how important that is, that feedback makes a difference. It balances the relationship and builds that honor that we have between us as individuals.

The closer we are to people who are important in our lives sometimes the less we tell them how important they are. Taking the time to acknowledge other people, what they give, what we receive, what we’re giving back to them and letting them know that we see it going both ways is beneficial to both them and to us. Always take the time to acknowledge what you’re experiencing.

Teachable Moments

Breaking free is about freeing ourselves to take action, to be who we are, to live the best that we can live. James Allen, in his book As a Man Thinketh, said, “Circumstances do not determine a man, they reveal him.”

Each person needs to step up. We have to choose ourselves. You’ve heard the phrase ‘Many are called but few are chosen?’ That’s because everyone who is here is called. You are the only person who can choose you to do whatever actions you are going to do or not do.

Action is essential to breaking free. This does not mean haphazard actions. This does not mean running around doing things in a crazy way. What it does mean though is that we need to look at the situations we encounter and find a way to make a difference in them.

Have you ever spent time with someone who is a list-maker? They have lists for everything–the to-dos, the have-to-dos, the what-we-want-to-dos, the planning-a-vacation, the you-name-it–ever been around someone who’s like that? List-making is a very good trait, it can go a little too far but it’s still to our benefit.

Everyone around us is our teacher, we can learn from them. A situation you experience first-hand is probably one of the most effective teachers you can have. We have to be taking action and doing. We have to keep learning and growing. Is the world a safe place? If it is, you’ll take action. If it is a dangerous place, you may need to step out and take a few risks but in many cases you will hesitate.

Today is about figuring out where you want to go. There are major pieces to everyone’s life; there are mental, physical, spiritual, nutritional, educational, social aspects to our lives. Moment-to-moment you need to begin to look at where you want to go with your life. The most important moment is right now. It will determine what you do in five seconds, five days or five years.

In order to go through change you need to look for teachable moments. There are times when we are more open and other times when we are not. Teachable moments are those times when we allow ourselves to step up to making a difference, step into a learning situation. Anger, fear, shame, entrapment stop us from having teachable moments. Interest, curiosity, newness help us open up and be more ready for those teachable moments.

(to be continued…)

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The Magic of Positive Parenting
How to Raise Great Kids. Parenting great kids doesn’t happen by accident, and with the proper training, anyone can raise positive, motivated children. In today’s fast-paced culture, vast amounts of information bombard our children from all sides, competing for their attention. Nevertheless, research demonstrates that a parent’s involvement is the number-one contributing factor to the ultimate respectfulness and motivation of kids. So the question is, how do you structure your communications and activities with your children to create a positive attitude with a bright future? In The Magic of Positive Parenting, you will learn modern child-rearing techniques from doctors, psychologists, parenting experts, and bestselling authors. In this easy-to-digest program, leading professional speakers offer quick segments that you can listen to while in the car, working out, or relaxing at home.