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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 1)

Have you ever had people rub you the wrong way? Does negativity or criticism take a toll on you? Do you ever wish for a way to unplug from tensions inherent in your situation? Well, today is your lucky day. We are going to explore exactly that.

Some people are like having a crab get a hold of you. The way they act, speak and interact triggers feeling like you want to do mean things to them. The issue blows your center of balance, impacts your emotions and preoccupies your thoughts.

You have to find a way to disconnect yourself from those people. We will explore ways of managing situations that push your buttons and pinch your emotional nerves.

Don’t Get Hooked

In February of 1944, Churchill was holding a news conference. During the conference he was talking about particularly aggressive battles that were going on. He didn’t want to underplay what was happening nor overplay it, but he did strongly state “…this is something we will not put up with!”

A young journalist heard this and stated that what Churchill said was an incorrect usage of prepositions.

Mr. Churchill became slightly irritated with this, but also having a good sense of humor, he wrote to the newspaper.

He said, “This kind of tease, and sometimes pedantic journalism, is nonsense. And it is nonsense up with which we should not put.”

His ability to turn around the criticism with a little bit of humor was one of his defining traits.

Churchill had a power and an ability to see things beyond what the normal person did. He had vision of leadership. For each of us, if we want to maintain our ability to stay on top of our game even with negative people when they’re behaving poorly, when they’re trying to push our buttons on purpose, we have find ways to manage ourselves in order to do that.

Criticism Stings

I want you for just a moment to think about a time when you have been criticized. When someone has given you a hard time. When they’re trying to rub you the wrong way. Think of that person and specifically what they did.

What did they do? Were there underlying implications or sarcasm in their words, or their tone, or their look? How did you respond to it at that moment?

What did you say later if you talked to them or someone else about it? Did you need to take action?

What kind of feelings came up for you as a result of this interaction? Were you angry? Did you feel hurt or sad? Did it make you afraid? Did you feel guilt? What feelings arose?

If you think about that moment when they were “letting you have it”, what would you have liked to have said to them (that perhaps you did not)?

I imagine you probably replayed it a number of times in your mind. What would have been a better response? To reply with sarcasm? Letting them have it with both barrels?

I remember one time hearing a gentleman after getting criticized by someone say, “You know, at first I questioned your feedback about the follow through on this issue. But on closer inspection I found a couple of areas that we were working on that could be improved. Thanks for the input.”

When he said that, the person who had just given him a hard time looked almost like someone had slapped him. That was not the response he expected at all from someone he had just criticized.

That other man totally diffused the situation by standing his ground, making comments that showed he had actually heard the other person, and considered what they said. Not only that, but he thanked the person for the feedback, even though it was delivered in a negative manner.

(to be continued…)

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