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(…continued from last week)

Your Choices Make You

A number of years ago on the radio, the commentator Paul Harvey said, “We are all a product of our choices, not of the circumstances we encounter.” And then he told this story about twin brothers.

From the time they were born they were living in an abusive, alcoholic family environment. Both parents were barely functional, often times out of work with little money, little food, and they tended to fight and squabble and were very abusive to each other, the children and the people around them.

Neighbors, being tired of seeing this going on called Child Services who came in and took the twin boys from this home. Each child was fostered to a different family and eventually was adopted by that family.

Being very young, the brothers lost track of each other, really forgetting even that they had another sibling out there. Ten years passed, twenty years passed, thirty years passed and they accidentally met.

As one brother was leaving his penthouse law office he was approached by a homeless man on the street begging for a handout. When he turned to reach into his wallet to get money to give to this person, their eyes met and they realized there was something familiar.

In the conversation thereafter they found out that they were long-lost twin brothers. They lived in very different worlds. Once they shared the same home, the same laughs, the same pains but they were torn apart and grew up in different environments.

The alcoholic brother said, “Well how can I be any different. Look what mom and dad were, they were alcoholics. They were abusive. Look what they did to us. They treated me and you like dirt. They didn’t love us, they didn’t want us, we got sent off to somewhere else.

I learned early to drink because it was a way to hide some of this crap and just get away from what was going on. I had to steal to just survive. Life’s been tough. But I’m a survivor, I didn’t have a choice. Look where I am. I hit the streets and I’ve made it.”

The attorney brother said, “Yes, our parents were alcoholics, they were abusive, they did not take care of us, we were separated and sent to separate places which also was challenging in and of itself.

But I realized I didn’t want to be like my parents. I didn’t want to drink, I wasn’t going to be an alcoholic like they were because it ruined their lives, and I would not let it ruin mine. I also knew I needed to learn to approach relationships differently, that if I was loving and kind and I helped other people, that most people were loving and kind and helped me too.

So I’ve invested in myself, I’ve learned, I’ve studied, I’ve gone to therapy, I went to school, I made something of my life and I have a wonderful family and a great home and many, many friends. While I have things to do and life sometimes is tough, my life goes pretty well.”

Twin brothers, same backgrounds, very different choices, very different circumstances and experiences they are now living in their lives.

Each Day Is An Opportunity

Again, we’re a product of our choices much more than we are a product of our circumstances. You have unbelievable potential. You could do amazing things if you choose.

When you reach that new choice point, when you reach that place where you need to make a decision about what’s going on in your life, you can either react and do it the same way you’ve always done it or you can slow down, think about it, make a new choice and move forward into something that could absolutely be of benefit to you and everyone you encounter.

It’s really our choice to make the difference. You are a product of what you think, what you focus on and what you choose to do–not necessarily the situations around you. Yes, sometimes situations pull you away from things that are going really well. Yet at the same time you do not need to slip into automatic pilot and go about making a lousy choice just because ‘I’m in this bad circumstance.’ The unconscious part of you needs to make more effective choices.

(to be continued…)

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