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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator


Change Is Inevitable

(The following is an excerpt from Dr. Larry’s eBook “Embracing Change”)

Socrates said, “Change is the only constant.” I’m not certain if it’s the only constant, but I fully agree that there’s always going to be change. Change at home, change at work, change in your physiology and your body, change in your mind, change in communications and the way people deal with each other. Change is inevitable.

For instance, what if a travel agent that you’ve used calls you up and says, “You know, I have this incredible trip. This is just the most spectacular trip you could possibly imagine. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m not exactly certain the cost of the trip though. But I’m telling you, it’s a great trip. You really ought to take this.”

“Sometimes you’ll be with other people on the trip, but through a lot of it you’re going to be alone. You’re going to have to just do what you want to do on the fly, on your own sometimes. I’m not sure exactly where you’re going to go either.”

“You’re going to go many different places but I’m not sure where you’re going to wind up at the end of this trip. Oh, and it could be dangerous. But it’s going to be a great trip, I’m telling you. Oh, and by the way you have to leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

The majority of us would say, “Interesting but no thanks.”

That Trip Is Here Now

The deal is—you don’t have a choice. You are on this trip right now! This trip is the journey called the “future”. There are many uncertainties that we need to try and anticipate, to be ready for. We have to prepare as well as we can to be able to handle the changes that come up—because you are doing that trip. You are on that trip right now, today.

You don’t know exactly where it’s going to go. You are not certain of the costs along the way. Sometimes you will be with others, sometimes you will be alone. And you don’t know exactly where you’re going to wind up. You can plan, but it still has many uncertainties.

When change occurs, the most common reaction is to wait—hesitate—procrastinate—think about it—ponder ones’ options. Resistance to change is normal.

The 5 Reasons You Resist Change

We tend to resist things that we’re not certain of, yet we need to find a way to move through them. There are a five main reasons that we resist change.

Lack of Knowledge or Skill

One reason people resist change is because of a lack of knowledge or skill. Have you ever wanted to do something but you were really uncertain how to do it? Or you knew a little bit but you weren’t sure you really knew enough to give it a shot?

Whether that was to build something, or use a new piece of software, or drive to a certain location that you didn’t have directions for—have you ever had that lack of knowledge or skill? We tend to hold back. We tend to hesitate. We’re uncomfortable.


The second reason that we resist change is because of physical or resource restrictions that we may encounter. Maybe it’s beyond your physical capabilities. Maybe you are just not strong enough, or fast enough, or healthy enough, or big enough. or perhaps you’re too big. There may be physiological things that restrict us or other resources that could get in our way; money, time, location. So the second reason we hold back is because of physical or resource restrictions.

Uncomfortable with the Change

Number three would be discomfort with a new way, or being comfortable right here where we are right now. Most of us like where we are. It may not be wonderful, but you get comfortable and used to this location.

One of the examples of that is your “stuff”. Got any stuff? Like an old piece of furniture. Or do you have some comfortable old clothes, maybe even kind of ratty, but you don’t ever get rid of them just because they’re your special things, your special sweats or whatever they happen to be?

Or perhaps you have some special little place in the house you like just the way it is and you wouldn’t like people to change it, even though it really is way out of date. We get comfortable where we are. We are uncomfortable with change and moving into something different.

Fear of the Unknown

Another reason we resist change, is fear of the unknown. This is actually the number one fear. People say the fear of public speaking is the number one fear. Well, that’s fear of the unknown. Fear of dying, that’s also fear of the unknown. Fear of the unknown is “I haven’t reached that place yet, and so I have tension, because I haven’t gotten to the spot.” Fear of the unknown is a big one.

Negative Projections

And the fifth (and one of the primary reasons that we resist change) is because we mentally project negativity into our future. These negative projections into our future scare us. This projection has the potential to generate barriers that hold us back.

There are times we don’t take the actions we need to, or we jump into action because of fear generated by negative projections. We are projecting a negative “What could happen if….” scenario.

“What if” causes more worry and anxiety than almost any other phrase in the English language. What if – what if this hurts, what if that is ugly, what if this goes badly, what if I do it poorly in front of others, what if it doesn’t work out, what if they don’t like it – what if, what if, what if………

Stride into Change

Change is at the least slightly uncomfortable for all of us. That tension from change doesn’t mean stop. It’s the equivalent of a yellow light at an intersection.

The yellow light does not mean stop—it means caution. Pay attention. Look before crossing. Watch for how you resist change. When you catch these yellow lights—pay attention—and don’t let them throw you off your course.

The Best of Success to You,
Dr. Larry