(continued from last week…)

It’s Always About You

It’s really quite simple. The source of the agreements ultimately is yourself. If you’re willing to be responsible for who you are and what you do, all the better. If you’re not willing to live up to that then you are oftentimes sitting in a victim role. This is not a game you can only half play. You either have honor or you don’t. You either are responsible or you’re not. You either live up to your commitments and your agreements or you don’t. You choose.

What happens when you don’t keep these agreements and your responsibility, is that people get upset with you. And often you probably even get upset with yourself. The mechanics of your life don’t really work very well. You get to blame other people, you get to feel like a victim; you oftentimes get to feel like you’re picked on, and sometimes you get to have a reason why your life isn’t working.

Maybe being on time is one of those things you commit to. You choose it or you don’t. You either are on time or you’re not on time. It’s a commitment you make to yourself, it’s a responsibility that you take on or don’t. Everyone wants to participate with you on those areas that you honour, make commitments to live up to. The world is your world. When you accept responsibility for your world, life will be very different.

Problems Then & Commitments Now

In his book ‘Illusions’, Richard Bach wrote, “Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” Without question, you can find yourself in a situation that you did not create. That was created for you or thrust upon you. The fact that the problem is in your life doesn’t make you a victim, but handling that situation from the perspective of being a victim, does.

Sometimes people are literally born into circumstances that are so heavy, so problematic, that it almost seems like a cruel joke. For some people it’s especially easy to allow those circumstances to have the appearance of being a determining factor in whether their life works or doesn’t work.

It certainly appears that sometimes there’s little or no choice about those situations. Now in that context, it can be a major struggle, it can be difficult. There can be situations–poverty, cruel parents, physical disability, mental challenges, circumstances beyond your control.

Problems also can have the potential to be a contributing factor to dissatisfaction in your life. Again, there’s no problem you experience that does not also have a gift in its hands for you. Problematic situations have a tremendous opportunity to really assist you in living a more full and rich life. When you grow, you develop, you go through that challenge, you make it, you learn, you keep moving, it makes you stronger, it makes you more powerful, it makes you more aware.

Validation Is Within

By taking responsibility for your life, and stepping up to that commitment you then are moving beyond just the problem. There are no circumstances you can experience that are capable of invalidating you as a person. Only you are powerful enough, in your own life, to invalidate you. If you do that, go ahead and own it.

If you think and feel your life is not worth living – that is your choice. And I want you to know that no one in the world can do that to you, there is no one who is powerful enough to do that to you. Only you can generate that negative process. Conditions that other people put on us can’t do that.

People have led worthwhile lives in the face of terrible family situations, concentration camps, slavery, abject poverty, physical ailments. Others have created joy and satisfaction in their lives even going through those horrid situations. Is it easy? Often not. Is it possible? Yes.

You are unique. No one has gone through exactly your problems, not exactly. But that’s really where it ends.

Don’t hide behind that unique condition. Figure it out or move on. Find a way through it that takes care of you in the process. Don’t fall into the victim role. Yes, sometimes circumstances are beyond your control. Yes, sometimes things happen to you that seem to be beyond your ability to cope with. But you can cope, mentally at least, even if you struggle to cope physically with the thing that happened to you.

It’s a choice. Once you get this you know there is no one powerful enough to make you change the way you deal with your life. You don’t have to. You just decide it. You take care. You chose to handle problems in your life responsibly and then you also can feel the satisfaction of dealing with them.

You can nurture other people, you can be nurtured by them. You can do things to make a difference, you can step up, you can have a fulfilling life, you can help your world that you’re experiencing on a day to day basis.

(to be continued…)

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