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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator

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Keeping Your Frustration In Check

It’s crucial to not get hooked by frustration and anger. Frustration is wanting something and not getting what you want. Anger is because you want something and begin demanding you get your way or what you want.

Paramahansa Yogananda years ago stated, “Anger comes from thwarted desires.” This was probably the very first quote I ever memorized. Anger comes from thwarted desires.

Think about it. If you’re angry—why are you angry? It’s because you wanted something—something stopped or blocked you—and you are insisting you get your way or have what you want.

There are six steps to getting angry. This process was observed and documented by Dr. Paul Hauck, a contemporary of cognitive psychology researcher Dr. Albert Ellis.

The first step is, “I want my way.” When you want something to happen, or you want to get something and you don’t, it’s frustrating. You can want whatever you want—realizing full well that you might not get it.

The second step is “Something is stopping or blocking me from getting my way, on accident or on purpose.” You, they, it, the situation, the system, something, is stopping or blocking me. Experiencing step two is also creates frustration.

Anger begins when you move from step two into step three. And step three rapidly escalates on into step six.

Step three is a demand. It’s like you’re pounding on the table, demanding the person or situation do what you want NOW! Three is, “I must have my way!” (Notice the exclamation point?) I must have it! I must have the lollipop! (Ever see a child throw a temper tantrum?) I must have my boss agree with me and let me do it my way instead of the stupid way they always have! I must be able to do this, get this, have that person do what I want right now. This is a demand that you get your way. (

Step four is finger pointing or blaming. It’s the process of blame thinking, “You are bad or wrong for not giving me what I want!” It’s a bad thing that I’m not getting X, and you’re the reason why, or that’s the reason why. It’s a finger pointing, blaming type thinking pattern.

The fifth step is, “You, they or it deserve to be punished, because you’re not giving me what I want.” Punishment is a part of the anger process. You feel like hitting something, breaking something, yelling, swearing, kicking, threatening, giving them the silent treatment, going slow when they want you to hurry, procrastinating because it bothers them—punishing them because you aren’t getting your way.

And the sixth one is, “I’m going to punish you!” (Have you ever done any of the above list?) You may not smack them—but you feel like it. And that anger is a barrier to you managing your mind effectively.

Frustration and anger go hand in hand—frustration is the primary emotion, anger is the secondary emotion. You can get frustrated and not move into anger. But once you’ve moved into anger you’ve taken the emotional game up to an entirely new level.

If some standard, something you wanted to have happen, some person has blocked you and you are demanding that it change—get over yourself!

Go ahead and be ticked off for awhile because you didn’t get what you wanted, but catch that negative demanding thinking pattern and let it go. Move beyond it. The emotional distress of anger isn’t worth it. As research has proven, anger can ruin your health. Take care of yourself and overcome the negative thinking pattern of anger.

To learn one of the most powerful patterns for overcoming negative thinking and the anger pattern, go to www.NegativeSelfTalkEliminator.com Check it out. It works!