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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator

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Manage Your Emotions–Take Back Control Of Your Anger

It is essential to not allow frustration and anger to run rampant. Frustration is wanting something and not getting what you want. Anger is because you want something and take it to the next level by beginning to demand you get what you want.

Dr. Paramahansa Yogananda stated, “Anger comes from thwarted desires.” This was one of the first quotes of power that I committed to memory. Slow down and really think about this, because it is absolutely accurate. Anger comes from thwarted desires. Brilliant!

Reflect on this….. If you’re angry—why? It’s because you wanted something — something stopped or blocked you — and you are insisting you get your way or have what you want.

There are six steps to getting angry. Dr. Paul Hauck observed and formulated this process. The first two steps only create frustration. But when you hit step number three, you have moved over into anger. Though it may take minutes or even days to move through steps one and two, when you begin step three you usually move from there through six in a split second.

The first step is, “I want my way.” When you want something to happen, or you want to get something and you don’t, it’s frustrating. You can want whatever you want—realizing full well that you might not get it. You only get frustrated over things you believe are reasonable. You will not get frustrated because you can’t own the moon. You will get frustrated over slow traffic, people who make commitments and don’t follow through, etc.

The second step in the anger process is “Something is stopping or blocking me from getting my way–on accident or on purpose.” It is the thought at someone, something, the situation, the system, is stopping or blocking you from getting what you desire. Experiencing step two creates a deeper level of frustration.

Remember, actual anger begins when you move from step two into step three. And step three rapidly escalates on into step six.

Step three is a demand. It’s like you’re pounding on the table, demanding the person or situation do what you want–RIGHT NOW!

Three is, “I must have my way!” (Notice the exclamation point?) I must have it! I must have the lollipop! (Ever see a child throw a temper tantrum?) I must have my boss agree with me and let me do it my way instead of the stupid way they always have! I must be able to do this, get this, have that person do what I want right now! This is a demand that you get your way. (

Step four is finger pointing or blaming. It’s the process of blame thinking directed at your chosen target, “You are bad or wrong for not giving me what I want!!” (Two exclamation points.) “It’s a bad thing that I’m not getting X, and you’re the reason why!! or “That’s the reason why!!” It’s a finger pointing, blaming, criticism type thinking pattern.

The fifth step is, “You, they or it deserve to be punished, because you’re not giving me what I want!!!” (Three exclamation points!!!) Punishment is a part of the anger process. You feel like hitting something, breaking something, yelling, swearing, kicking, threatening, giving them the silent treatment, going slow when they want you to hurry, procrastinating because it bothers them—punishing them because you aren’t getting your way. They deserve to be punished!!!

And the sixth step is, “I’m going to punish you!!!!” (This has now escalated to four exclamation points!!!!) Have you ever gotten angry? You may not smack them—but you feel like it! And that anger is a barrier to you managing your mind effectively.

Frustration and anger go hand in hand—frustration is the primary emotion, anger is the secondary emotion. You can get frustrated and not move into anger. But once you’ve moved into anger you’ve taken the emotional game up to an entirely new level.

If some standard, something you wanted to have happen, some person has blocked you and you are demanding that it change—get over yourself!

Go ahead and be ticked off for awhile because you didn’t get what you wanted, but catch that negative demanding thinking pattern and let it go. Move beyond it. The emotional distress of anger isn’t worth it. As research has proven, anger can ruin both your mental and your physical health. Take care of yourself and overcome the negative thinking pattern of anger.

To learn one of the most powerful patterns for overcoming negative thinking and the anger pattern, go to www.NegativeSelfTalkEliminator.com Check it out. This proven, easy to us pattern can make a major difference for you!