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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator


Negative Thinking Can Block Your Success

The Practice of Happiness
The Dozen Core Components To Creating Abundant Happiness (Part 7 of 14)

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(…continued from last week)

Block: Being A Criticizer

Another one of those ‘not to dos’ is criticizing.

Yes, you’re smarter. Yes you have more experience. Of course you’ve been around longer, and you’ve climbed more mountains, and you’ve slain more dragons than anybody else around you. But that doesn’t necessarily make you more brilliant–that just makes you unique.

You are different, you’re one of a kind, but just like you, everyone else has opinions and thoughts and ways of working as well. People are different, they’re not better or worse, they’re just different. Appreciate some of those differences.

Instead of shortcomings you’ll see yourself and your people in a better light. Criticizing another is really tough. Now giving positive feedback can be of high, high benefit. Which is very different than criticizing, blaming, putting down, making fun of.

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You ever heard this phrase “constructive criticism”? Well ‘constructive’ is the process of building up, making better, improving. ‘Criticism’ is picking on, blaming, putting down, making fun of. Those two don’t really go together. Constructive feedback, constructive input, constructive involvement, those are what you want. So knock off the criticizing, get with the positive input.

Block: Your “Soap Box” Preaching

A subset of criticizing is preaching.

Judging is where preaching and criticizing both comes in. They’re both the result of: you’ve judged something, found it to be wanting or lacking and so you’re going to rise above it, and instead–here’s what we/you/they are going to do.

The higher you rise, the more you can criticize and preach because you know more, you know better, you’re above everything.

So you get to tell them what to do. How much do you like it when people preach at you? Not the most fun you ever had? It’s nice to know something, and it’s nice to share your knowledge. And frequently you can do the people around you a gigantic favor by sharing the knowledge you have.

At the same time, that knowledge, depending on how it’s delivered, is much easier to ingest and take in than it is other ways, when you speak with finality, when you speak with richness, when you find a way to show them this is the benefit to them. It doesn’t come out as preaching anymore, it comes out as I’m helping you, here let me give you a couple of insights that can benefit both of us.

Block: Negative Thought Focus

Another one of those ‘not to dos’ is getting stuck dwelling on the negative.

Have you ever had to work with somebody who’s always negative? How fun is that? Isn’t that a great time? Negative Nelly, Nasty Paul, Nippy Ned do not help the situation–they only make things worse.

Yes the past is important and so is the future, yet dwelling on those things that are bad or negative are not going to help you out. They just scare you, they make it tougher. We need to learn from our mistakes, we need to learn from the mistakes of others if we can. Then we need to let it go. Easier said than done? Sometimes it is. It really depends on your focus.

When some struggle happens, when something harsh occurs, it’s the opportunity to look at it and think about what can I do different, or what can I gain from this situation to help me be better next time?

When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to learn. Also, that’s an opportunity to be kind, to be forgiving, to be understanding, to help them not feel like an idiot just because they made that huge mistake. The past is training, it doesn’t define you. You need to think about what went wrong, but don’t dwell on it, don’t get stuck in it, don’t go negative and pessimistic. I guarantee that’s not going to help.

(to be continued…)

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