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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator

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Stop Blocking Your Own Happiness

00:00 / 05:00

The Practice of Happiness
The Dozen Core Components To Creating Abundant Happiness (Part 5 of 14)


(…continued from last week)

Letting Go Of Happiness Blocks

For a moment let’s talk about some of those things that we can stop doing that interfere with ourselves and with our relationships. If you remember one of the things the Mayo Clinic said is we need to have rich relationships. These blocks we will discuss here get in the way of your relationships with other people, and may get in the way of a good relationship inside of you, with you.

Remember there are really only two kinds of conflict–external and internal. Conflicts inside of you, with you, and conflicts between you and others. Happiness in life, personal and professional, is often a matter of letting go of discontents and issues (getting rid of some things) as well as adding in positives or others.

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The Blocks….

Consider what happens when you stop doing some of the following things:

Block: Blaming or finger-pointing

People screw-up, they make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Co-workers drop the ball on a project you’re working on. Vendors don’t get things to you on time and so you blame them for your problems or for stuff that doesn’t work for you. But you’re also to blame–maybe because you didn’t ask or provide enough training. Perhaps you didn’t build enough of a time buffer. Maybe you asked for too much, too soon.

Quite often it can be partially us as well as partially them. Yet, blaming does not help, finger pointing, whether it’s “I screwed up, I’m bad”, or whether it’s “You screwed up, you’re bad”, is not healthy. Taking responsibility very good, being accountable, absolutely.

Blaming others isn’t empowering, because you’re focusing on how things are wrong and how things are bad instead of what we can do to make things better. How we can work smarter, how we can bring it in more on time. What we can do to make things work more the way we want. As we focus more on what we can do to improve, it gives us a sense of confidence. We have more fulfillment inside, you have more of a sense of happiness that begins to grow inside of you when you quit blaming self and others.

Block: Trying to Impress

Another one of those things that we need to get out of our way is trying to impress others. People don’t like you because of your clothes. If that’s why they are your friend (or not) you probably ought not to be around them much because they’re pretty shallow.

Some people aren’t going to like you because of the way you dress or don’t. People are not going to like you or not like you because of the car you have, your possessions, your title, what you’ve accomplished. Those are just things. Now people may like your things, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily like you or don’t like you because of them. Sure superficially they may seem to, but superficial is just that, it’s very insubstantial. So trying to go out of your way where you’re continuously impressing people can be draining, it is very wearing on you and on them.

Break free from it, genuine relationships will make you happier and you only have genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress people, when you don’t have to worry about what they think. When you can be you, when you can do that, you then have a real relationship. So break away from having to impress.

Block: Clinging / Envy / Jealousy

Clinging or being envious of other people. When you feel afraid, when you feel insecure, when you’re trying to grasp or hold onto something, it can be very detrimental, it’s very hard on you. An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness, it’s just an absence of fear and insecurity. So clinging, envy, jealousy, trying to own, those things are all a grasping.

We need to let them go. Holding onto things is okay, but trying to grasp and hold onto something is not going to make you happier. If you have this favorite thing and it gets broken you’re going to be devastated. Yes it’s painful when your grandmother’s knick-knack breaks, and it was yours by inheritance, that’s upsetting and you may even feel a deep loss. Yet at the same time when you remember it and you think about what that meant to you and you remember the moments with your grandmother, you can still get some richness.

Trying to cling, especially to people or to situations is not going to benefit you. Even if you don’t succeed in gaining what you want, the active of doing something is going to help you feel better because you’re moving away from clinging into one of pro-activeness.

(to be continued…)


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