How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 11 of 16)

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(…continued from last week)

One of the biggest challenges for dealing with people is matching the communication styles. Remember 70% of the population is visual, 20% are auditory and 10% are kinesthetic or feeling oriented. When you are communicating with others, whether it’s one on one or in a group, you need to make certain that you are touching bases with all of them. That you are using those styles effectively. Let’s talk about how you do that to enhance your persuasiveness.

The Visual Person

If you are dealing with someone who is highly visual you need to move through things more quickly. You move fast, you don’t stop, you don’t pause. It is a much more rapid movement. You’re working on big pictures. You’re talking about words in such a way that they create an image.

For instance, have you ever read a novel? A novel is written like, “it was a dark, stormy night—the lightening flashed, the thunder rolled, the waves were crashing on the beach below, as the shipwrecked couple struggled to scale the cliff.” Can you picture that in your mind? Speak to the visual person so it moves quickly and you give them this big picture and you use word pictures to assist them in seeing better.

You want less distraction. People who are highly visual need less interaction. They don’t want to talk a lot; they don’t want to ask a lot of questions. Give them a message; they create an image, you then move on. You do it fairly quickly.

The Auditory & Kinesthetic Person

If you are dealing with an auditory individual or a kinesthetic they tend to move more slowly. They like to listen to the words. The words are very important to them. It’s more slow, they want more details. They want more interaction, more dialogue, more questions, more experiential back and forth. For the auditory person the words are crucial.

A good friend of mine is an attorney. Most attorneys, because of dealing with words ongoingly, are highly auditory. To this attorney a new word is like taking a sip of a $100 a glass wine. He rolls it around in his mouth, he can taste it. It’s lush and rich. This guy has a vocabulary larger than any other ten people I know. To him the words are amazing. He really forms them well and uses his speech in such a way it creates this vision.

The auditory person moves at a different rate. It’s slower, they take time. They like the discussion and the interaction. They will ask you a million questions and go into great detail about what you are talking about. Notice the difference in the style with which it is presented.

If you are dealing with a kinesthetic or feeling oriented person they tend to use the same types of signals as the auditory. They move more slowly, they do it in more detail. They take time to look at the words, they speak more slowly. They like to dialogue. They want to make absolutely certain that you are getting their message.

Feeling oriented people tend to pause and reflect on every word so that there is no doubt that you are getting the message they are giving. Now if you are a visual or even an auditory, that super slow speaking style, with lots of pauses, can bother you. But that’s their style.

(to be continued…)

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