A number of years ago, when discussing changing emotional states with one of the founders of the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming Steve Andreas, he made a comment that really stuck with me.

Steve said, “If you’re at work and someone pushes your buttons, get over it before you leave the office. Choose to change your thinking and leave it behind you, at work. You wouldn’t want to invite that person you’re angry with to come home and carry the conflict on, would you?”

He continued on by saying, “If you go home and you keep thinking about that situation—that’s exactly what you’ve done. You took that person home with you. And, what ever else you do–definitely make absolutely certain, you don’t invite them into your bed!”

What a thought–invite them into bed. But we’ve all done that right? You have an issue with someone and you grumble about it and carry it around. You carry it on and ultimately “go to bed” with them, waking up still irritated the next day. How goofy is that? (But unfortunately, we’ve each done it.)

The action that provoked you probably only took a moment, but got carried on for much longer.

When we keep focusing on the negative thinking pattern that created the upset, we’re suffering by our own choosing. They are long gone, but we are still wrapped up in the conflict.

Next time you find yourself taking someone home that you really don’t want there–shift your focus, and kick them out of the car (figuratively not literally.)

Best of Success to You!

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