Dr. Larry Iverson
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Get a Grip!
Diffusing Criticism and
Handling Negative Feedback


(206) 772-9277

Get a Grip!

Diffusing Criticism & Negative Feedback

Seven years ago, Columbia University conducted a research study to determine characteristics of managers who were able to manage emotional upheavals during tense situations. These men and women had the ability to be highly influential, and manage conflict and negative feedback when it arose quickly and decisively. This meant managing conflict inside of themselves first, then the external one next.

This highly interactive workshop on diffusing criticism provides advanced strategies used to handle the negativity that can undermine relationship effectiveness. Adults learn best by a combination of seeing, hearing and doing. Therefore, participants will experience a carefully designed combination of:

  1. Information that is innovative, engaging and thought provoking.
  2. Evaluation instruments that will give insights into their personal patterns.
  3. Specially designed interactive exercises which give hands-on experience so the participants learn about themselves and develop new skills for building better working relationships.
  4. Interactive group discussion for clarification, brainstorming and skill development.

When You're Criticized

Most of us don't like to be criticized. It makes us squirm. It's uncomfortable. Quite often, it feels like you've been bad and have been caught. Criticism tends to make us grouchy and at least a bit hostile toward the person who is criticizing. Criticism is almost unavoidable, however. The only way to live a life without criticism is to hide away in a cave and never see anyone. If you are around other people, sooner or later you're going to receive some criticism or negative feedback.

Criticism just tells us how someone else perceives us personally, or our team. (Unfortunately, this is usually tinged with the other person's emotions.) It's hard for us to see ourselves, and be totally honest about how we are doing. We don't know if our work or our messages are having their intended impact. Feedback can help us to understand how we look from the outside. This input from others is like a mirror, showing us to ourselves, from another's perspective. Although this is all very well, there's a problem. Unlike a good mirror, criticism often gives us an inaccurate picture and contains distortions we need to manage.

Handling Criticism & Negative Feedback

Every conflictual experience we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential. It can be a source of tangible or intangible gain, inspiration, enlightenment, learning, and growth--or it can trigger rage, fear, shame, entrapment and resistance. The choice is not up to our criticizer, but up to us, and our willingness to face and work through the situation.

Facing conflict and maintaining personal control, means giving up the scenario of seeing yourself as a victim or the other person as an enemy. It requires giving up your fear of engaging in honest communication with someone you may distrust, or who is blasting you at that moment. By adding new tools to your toolbox, you can more skillfully confront your critic and problem. You can choose to develop, grow, learn, and become more effective in handling difficulties you encounter. Never let criticism blind-side you again.

Here's Some of What You'll Learn….

  • There are seven ways feedback can become distorted. When someone is criticizing you, one or more of these distorters may be occurring. Know how to begin breaking through them.
  • There are only a few things people have conflicts over. Understand how to detect which type is occurring, and how to find common ground instead of just differences.
  • Learn the basics of Emotional Intelligence, and how this impacts your ability to manage yourself and the relationship during negative feedback. Through utilizing emotional intelligence you automatically gain controls you could only dream of otherwise.
  • Some emotions are a rapid reaction, others occur slowly over time. Yet whether they happen fast or slow, there are ten stages that occur in an unwavering step-by-step pattern. Understand the ten steps, and how to break-in to them without having to go through the entire process before disengaging from the criticism.
  • There are only four types of criticism: nonverbal, indirect, hostile and direct. Each has subtleties to it. Each has ways you can manage it. But before you can manage it, you must learn to identify it and disengage yourself from its grip.
  • Many of the ways we react to criticism are understandable, but they can be counterproductive. Learn how to not become entangled in any of the ineffective reactions to negative feedback.
  • There are six steps to anger. Refine your ability to break-in to the steps and stop the growth of anger before you're hooked.
  • We offer seventeen strategies for dealing with criticism and negative feedback from others. You'll learn many methods because what works best for one person, may not work well for another. We'll give you a variety of processes that you can experiment with, so you can determine what works best for you right now, and what you can refine later with practice.

Contact The Institute for Advanced Development today for pricing or more detailed information.
(206) 772-9277 or email our Customer Service Representative

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