If you want have long-lasting and effective relationships, you must first be able to establish, and then second be able to maintain, rapport with those people you interact.

The Communication Connection

In a letter being written by President Abraham Lincoln to one of his generals during the Civil War, he talked about getting soldiers to perform at their best. He recommended communicating in such a way, that they will easily understand what you want. By talking in a way that makes sense to them you’ll have less misunderstanding.

President Lincoln said, “I have found it very effective to meet people on their own level. I want to use their language to convey ideas they would not understand if presented in any other fashion.”

Meeting people on their own level is good for all of your personal and professional relationships. It’s good time management. It’s good business. It’s effective relationship management. Whether the person is a client, your boss, your employee, your spouse or a child–meeting people on their level is what rapport is all about.

Communication Is About Perspective

There are two ways to look at other people. You can choose to emphasize the differences between you and others. Or you can choose to emphasize the similarities, the commonalities you share. If you emphasize the differences, you will find it hard to establish rapport. But if you emphasize what you share, resistance and antagonisms will often vanish.

As human beings we share a great deal with each other. With practice, it becomes easy to focus the interaction on the positive. This sets-up the experience at that moment to feel like we are aligned. That we are allies. When people identify with each other, they collaborate and cooperate more effectively.

Never forget, there are many ways of looking at the world as there are people in the world.

Every day begins with the potential to be an exciting adventure. An adventure of what you’ll do or create that day. And, an adventure of what you’ll experience in your interactions through the day. Mr. Lincoln was right in his observation that we need to make the effort to “…meet people on their own level.”

Every day, you have the opportunity to expand your horizons by learning to identify with others in ways that make the most sense to them. You can look at the world from a whole new perspective. You will begin to sense a broader experience of others around you. And during this process, you’ll gain entirely new insights about your own behavior, and how to be a better world citizen.

Best of Success,

Dr. Larry

“An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise.”
William Dean Howells (1837-1920) Novelist