Part 9 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Making A Positive Connection Why would one person say another is a fake? Usually because there is a disparity between what the person is saying and his or her behavior. There is a mismatch between the communication signals that you are receiving, the words […]

Part 8 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Multisensory Pacing Works Dr. Maxwell Maltz, the author of Psycho Cybernetics said, “People who say that life is not worthwhile are really saying they themselves have no personal goals which are worthwhile. Get yourself a goal worth going for. Better still, get yourself a […]

Part 7 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Mismatch Trouble Have you ever called customer service over the complaint department in a company? While doing consulting for a corporation I listened in on a few of the operators taking complaints. Many conversations went poorly. The customers frequently felt as distressed when they […]

Part 6 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Types of Matching One example of pacing is social customs. When you go to church, shouting profanities at the top of your voice during the sermon is probably not high on the list of acceptable behaviors. Beating up someone you work with just for […]

Part 5 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Gliding Through Signals Pacing another’s communication is like a dance. You each take cues from the other person’s signals and you move together. When you are really in sync, it’s fun, it feels great. When the dance is forced or toes are getting stepped […]

Part 4 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) The Pacing Flow When you have rapport with a friend or co-worker it’s because you’re matching in their communication style. One of the most complex parts of this is pacing. The more you fit in with them, the more you are like their delivery […]

Part 3 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Options Make Life Easier Remember the mathematical principle, the Law of Requisite Variety? It says “The part of system with the most options will control the system.” Not might control the system, not could control the system, “will” control the system. For instance, what’s […]

Part 2 of 12 from Communication Dance (continued from last week…) Rich Moments I’d like you to take a moment right now to remember a time with a good friend or a family member when you were having an exceptionally good time, a time worth remembering, when you and they felt great and were in […]