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Do You Communicate Effectivly?

Part 4 of 12 from Communication Dance

(continued from last week…)

The Pacing Flow

When you have rapport with a friend or co-worker it’s because you’re matching in their communication style. One of the most complex parts of this is pacing. The more you fit in with them, the more you are like their delivery style, the more you feel the connection with them. Pacing is a key to life relationships that begins to unleash your success on many levels.

Strategies of Influence and Persuasion
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Remember meeting someone you felt completely at ease with from the very beginning? You felt like you could talk to them about anything, it was relaxing. It was like being with an old friend, even though you just met. How come that happened? The two of you had a natural match in your behaviors and communications that were comfortable to the other one. You were communicating in such a way that was easy for you to understand. You had rapport with his or her style of getting and giving information.

Contrast that experience with someone who grates on your nerves. The same rules apply there as to why communication breaks down. Only in that case it’s because there is a mismatch.

Matching Helps Smoothness

Earl Nightingale said, “What’s going on on the inside of us shows on the outside.”

Behavioral flexibility makes your ability to deal with other people smoother, easier, faster, and less complicated. When you’re able to be more flexible and comfortable with many styles of communicating you move beyond your habitual pattern in how you respond. You and the people around you both win because of this flexibility. You over all have better relationships, less conflict, and acquire friends and associates much more easily. Some people do this by accident. They learned more options for behavior as they were growing up.

Do you think a pitcher in Major League baseball knows only one way to throw a ball? They wouldn’t even come close to the big leagues if they did. The diversity of batters they face demands many different styles of pitching. They have to be able to match their pitching style to what the batter is least likely to be able to hit. The pitcher learns a great deal about each batters style before they ever throw a ball. Also, the catcher who has analyzed the batters can give the pitcher hints as to what they should do. That’s what the signals given from the catcher to pitcher are about.

The pitcher uses the Principle of Requisite Variety to win the game. Flexibility is a key to having successful interactions whether your desired outcome is to win a ballgame or build great communication in your relationships. Having many options for your behavior is essential.

(to be continued…)

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The Psychology Of Nonverbals
Dr. Larry Iverson teaches you the psychology of how you can structure your communications more effectively by understanding the laws of approachability and the psychology of great communications. Armed with this information, you will quickly be able to assess what’s important to the other person and build instant rapport. With the knowledge from this series of programs you will increase your charisma, credibility, and clout. Since your actions will determine how you are perceived: weak or powerful, unsure or confident, insecure or ready to take on the world—don’t leave your communications to chance. In this program you will learn to take control over how others perceive you. Is there any part of your life where being a good communicator or having a great relationship is not important? This program will show you exactly how to be a powerful communicator and get people to like you and your ideas in every situation.