(continued from last week…)

To Build a Winning Relationship

A few essentials you need to think about when looking at a situation from another person’s perspective are, 1) you need to have a profile on that person, that individual, that customer, that friend of what they like.

You need to get to know them a bit and what it is about you or your product that brings them to you. What is it that’s important about that – develop a profile on what these people around you, whether friends or business, like.

2) You also need to slow down and take time to look at yourself through their eyes. Step back, look at it from an empathetic perspective.

See if you can stand in their perspective and look at you from their eyes. Not you looking at yourself, but look at it from someone else’s point of view. How do they see you? How do they interact with you?

90+% of communication is the tone of our voice and the way that we look. So when you step back and look at you, try and see it from someone else’s perspective, how do they hear you, how do they see you? Take an inventory of yourself.

3) Be aware of expectations you create by what you say. Watch out for over-promising or building unrealistic expectations because you can truly set yourself, and them, up to fail.

Also, 4) a problem truly can be an opportunity to demonstrate what great service you give. If something comes up, remember that if you solve that problem for that person on the spot, 95% of them will think better of you afterwards than if there’d been no problem at all and they will want to keep dealing with you.

5) Something else you need to do is to deal with people uniquely. Treat each person in your personal life and in your professional life as special.

A simple thing, for instance, is if you’re talking with someone can you tell if they’re paying attention to you? Absolutely. You can tell if they’re listening to you. If their mind is wandering their eyes glaze over, or they might be playing with their computer or cell phone. You can tell if they’re attending to you.

Paying attention to someone, looking them in the eye, making some listening noises, having them sitting there attending to you shows you that they care about you and that you’re unique and important to them. Do the same for the people around you.

6) Something else you can do is stay in touch with people. Keep them informed of what’s going on, let them know that you’re doing those things that they need from you.

If you make a commitment to someone, follow through, follow up, and let them know where you are in the process. Even if it’s a long term cycle, stay in touch with them and just let them know things are still in process and you haven’t forgotten them.

7) Remember that you’re always on stage. If someone notices you, if they see or hear you, they’re making observations and judgements about you. You’re on stage to someone anytime they are aware of you – pay attention to that.

There was a time when having dinner with a good friend at an Italian restaurant. Sitting at a table next to us was a young couple who were raving to the owner of the restaurant about how wonderful their chicken parmesan was.

The gentleman said, “My wife and I got back from a couple of weeks in Italy, not a month ago. While there, I’ll bet I ate chicken parmesan at least seven or eight times – I just love chicken parmesan.”

Then he said, “You know your chicken parmesan is better than anything I ate the whole time I was in Italy!”

The restaurant owner smiled, stood up a little straighter and replied, “Well of course! Over in Italy they use domestic cheese, mine is imported!”

This guy and his wife burst into laughter, and my friend and I were both chuckling as well.

You are in show business, you’re on stage. Let the people know that you’re aware and make sure that your performance to the people you care about, to the people you work with is congruent, is genuine and they can see and connect with you on that deeper level.

(to be continued…)

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