The Practice of Happiness
The Dozen Core Components To Creating Abundant Happiness (Part 3 of 14)

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(…continued from last week)

The Appreciation Factor

Let people know you appreciate what they do. Let them know you’re glad they are part of your life. We all want to feel appreciated. When you tell those people who invest time, energy, and love into you, that you appreciate them it enriches both of you.

Which leads us to another point. The Mayo Clinic said we need to find way to express gratitude.

Gratitude is more than just saying thanks. It’s an openness. It’s a sense of wonder. It’s a sense of newness. It’s like saying “Yes!” to something. It’s a thankfulness for what you’re receiving from life, from work, from people. It’s feeling that positive warm feeling inside and sharing it. It’s very easy to go through life without recognizing your good fortune. Often it takes a serious illness, a loss of some kind, a tragic event to jolt people into appreciating the good things they have.

Don’t wait for something to happen! Appreciate what you’ve got right now. It’s not going to get necessarily better, but right now is okay, so appreciate what you have at this moment in time.

Yes, we hope tomorrow will be a better day, yet appreciate what you have today. Make a commitment to practice the attitude of gratitude.

Each day identify at least one thing that enriches your life–it could be a person, it could be a type of nutritional drink, it could be exercise you’ve gotten. It could be the sun shining, it could be the rain that cleans and nourishes the earth. It could be something you read that was hilariously funny. It could be many different things, but the point is–find something!

When you find yourself thinking thoughts that are ungrateful or you’re complaining and whining about things, try substituting in something you feel good about. That does not mean you don’t have to think about the problem, but you do need to take time to focus on the other side as well. So think about the problem a moment, then give the gratitude more time. For every minute you focus on the problem, spend two minutes focusing on the solution.

For example, replace “My friend forgot my birthday”, with “My friend is there for me. Yes they forgot my birthday, but it’s not the end of the world. There have been tough times, we’re still together. I’ll get over it. I know it would be nice if they hadn’t forgotten my birthday, but it’s not the end of the world.”

Change it!!! Don’t dwell on the negative. Let gratitude be the last thought in your mind and your heart, in your being, before you fall asleep. Be grateful first thing in the morning when you awaken as well.

Cultivate The Habit Of Optimism

The Mayo Clinic also said one of those things we really need to do is to cultivate optimism. For example, plants who have people taking care of them, cultivating the soil, give it vitamins, energy and nutrients, and they keep the soil soft so the plant can thrive and it’s roots can move, and water can move through. Have you ever noticed how plants that have someone cultivating the soil for them do better than plants that do not?

You cultivate optimism. Develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. You don’t have to become overly optimistic, after all bad things do happen. It would be silly to pretend otherwise. But you don’t have to let the negatives color your whole outlook on life.

Remember, what is right about you almost always trumps what is wrong. There are many more good things going on in your life than there are bad things. Yes times are tough sometimes but they’ll pass.

If you’re not an overly optimistic person by nature, it may take time to change some of your pessimistic thinking. Being pessimistic is not bad; you have to think about the downside of things. But start recognizing negative thoughts as you have them, then take time to step back and ask yourself these key questions. “Is this situation really as bad as I’m making it out to be?” “Is this situation really as bad as I’m telling myself it is?”

Also, “Is there another way to look at this situation that doesn’t paint such a black or bleak picture?” “What can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future so that I either 1. don’t have to have this happen again; or 2. can find ways around it should it come up?” “What can I learn that I can use in the future?” Think about it.

(to be continued…)

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Set Your Teenager Up to Win
Do you ever have difficulty communicating with your teenager? Do they ever lack motivation for doing important things like school or helping out? Would you be interested in knowing how to overcome barriers between you? Here are core concepts to assist your teen in moving successfully through their teenage years, from Dr. Larry Iverson, in “Set Your Teenager Up To Win — The 7 Attributes Crucial for Teen Success”. Learn the central components that give teens a positive and healthy self-concept. Understand how to get your child to talk with you. Learn to understand their nonverbal communication signals. Know how to build trust and connection with your teen, and when it’s important to let go. Know how to avoid most of the “terrible teen” syndrome where they don’t want anything to do with you or the family.
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