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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator


Are You Solution Focused?

Part 7 of 12 from Wake Up and Win! Turn Off The Autopilot

(continued from last week…)

Enhance Your Communications

When I ask you to not run your victim perspective by complaining to others, I’m not asking you to stop communicating. I’m not even asking you to stop talking about it. What I’m actually asking you to do is communicate more effectively!

Find a way to communicate in a solution focused manner, not a problem focused manner. Problem focused means, you just think about the problem, how you are a victim and the difficulty. Solution focused means, here’s the difficulty, here’s what’s going on, here’s what you need to do. It’s how you can begin to move beyond it.

You need to share your experience. You need to get input from others or at least input in your own mind from yourself. But you need to think about it, you then need to make some decisions and go solution focused here. Take action – what you can do.

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Being Responsible & Keeping Agreements

So let’s begin talking about the good news. An appropriate place to begin this process is by looking at responsibility.

True responsibility is a level of enlightenment, actually. False responsibility is an ‘endarkenment’ process.

Responsibility really is the willingness to be the author of all of your experiences. Even the ones you don’t like.

If you create an experience in your life which is pleasant or worthy, you’ll be most willing to be responsible for it. You may even be proud that you did it, which helps lift and boost you a little more. However, when you create an experience or you go through an experience which you judge as bad or unpleasant, quite often we have a tendency to disown the authorship.

Winston Churchill said, “Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence!” He could just have easily said, “Author your work with excellence!”

Conditions or situations we experience can get in the way, but we have to be responsible for what we are creating–our authorship. If you want to think bad things happened to you in your life that’s fine, because I’m sure there have been bad experiences. Yet, what did you do to help create those? If on the other hand, things are going well or moving forward–what have you done to help create those?

Responsibility means ‘I’m not feeling bad about what’s going on around me’. If I’ve had something unfortunate happen, what can I do to take responsibility for my part in it and move on?

Don’t feel guilty. Don’t go into that place of ‘I’m bad’. Look at it, think about it, go into rewind, back up, look at the process, think about what you’ll do next time, make some decisions, move on.

Feelings are there to support your position, to help you grow, to learn, to move and be responsible. Stepping up to responsibility is part of being a functioning adult. Responsibility isn’t really a feeling, it’s an action. It’s an attitude. It’s not a position, but it helps make good positions possible. Guilt, shame, depression, all take away from or delete being responsible.

Responsibility Is The Way

It should be becoming obvious that responsibility is really where you want to be. You are responsible for your life, no matter what anybody else says.

Where you want to be is fully owning your life and actions and take full responsibility. To do that you tell the truth about your life, your experience, what you’ve done, what you haven’t done, what you could’ve done, what you didn’t do, what’s real, what’s not real.

Where you are right at this moment is not bad, it’s not good, it’s just what is. You take responsibility for your life. You are the author of your life and you’ve stepped into that authorship and fully own what’s happened because you were the author of it.

(to be continued…)

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