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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator


Where Is Your Sense Of Humor?

Part 13 of 14 from Communication Essentials

(continued from last week…)

Maintain a Sense of Humor

Tip number thirteen is maintain a sense of humor. Try and keep it light. Things are not always heavy. You don’t always have to be working on the relationship. If it’s too much work, it will fall apart.

People have a tendency to get heated up during discussions and they forget they’re talking to another person or person they love. We need to lighten it up a bit, back off just a bit. Now that doesn’t mean everything’s a joke, but at the same time don’t make everything work.

Relationships need to flow a bit and they need to be somewhat easy. If all you do is conflict and have to talk about all the heavy stuff, you will wear out your relationship. Just because you’re discussing an important topic doesn’t mean you have to be so serious. It also doesn’t mean you want to make a joke out of it but you also don’t have to be so heavy.

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People who live together well, successfully for years have learned it’s easier to deal with serious matters if they don’t get into this heavy discussion and make it all life or death! Lighten the mood a little bit. Have a sense of humor. Try and understand it from your partner’s perspective, not making fun of their perspective but just don’t take it all so heavily.

I one time heard a couple say as they were having a heavy discussion in therapy, “If you don’t change, I’m leaving.” The other partner said, “Well I’m leaving, too, but – can I come with you?” They both laughed.

They said they developed that mechanism for having conversations that sometimes turned heated because there were threats implied in that “I’m going to leave you if you don’t change.” The first time one of them made the statement, “Well I’m leaving too, but can I come with you?” they learned that they really didn’t want to be without the other and it was just they were trying to get their way in a very strong handed manner.

You need to take care of you. And you need to make sure that as you’re discussing heavy things, you don’t just make it heavy and sour and serious. It’s beyond that.

They Don’t Have to Be Like You

Relationship communication hint number fourteen is they don’t have to be like you. Don’t try to make them into a model of you. “But if they would only behave in this way!” Just because they’re different than you is not a bad thing. If they weren’t a little bit different than you, you probably would not have found them very interesting. A little difference is stimulating.

Have you heard the phrase “Opposites attract”? Well that works really well for magnets, but it doesn’t work so well for human beings. If someone is the opposite of you, it can be frustrating, irritating and a real pain in the neck.

A little difference is stimulating; a little difference means that we have new and unique ways to look at things and that can be innovative, creative, fun, exciting and even bring humor into things. They don’t have to be a model of you. They don’t have to be like you at all, but we need to find that common ground that we walk together. We find that place that’s good for both of us and we don’t have to be just alike.

Find how those little differences make the uniqueness in your relationship a good thing and try and focus on their differences and how those differences are a good thing not because they’re just like you, not because they’re the exact opposite of you but because it’s stimulating to be around someone who is a bit different than you.

(to be continued…)

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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator
Here Is A PROVEN Strategy Successfully Used By Thousands — That Eliminates Negative Self Talk, Overcomes the Worry Habit AND Creates an Unstoppable Positive Mental Attitude! Getting a grip on the negative side of your mind is essential to feeling great and achieving long-term success. Use this powerful strategy to immediately stop the negativity and trigger mental positive! This is the exact brain strategy Dr. Larry Iverson has used with thousands of clients and athletes one-on-one to help them break-through to new levels of personal fulfillment and success. Knowing how to apply the power of your mind is crucial to every area of life. Dr. Iverson has helped sharpen the focus and mental side of performance for over 150 Olympic level athletes—gymnasts, marathon and long distance runners, archers, boxers, discus throwers, martial artists, weight lifters, swimmers, skiers, and more. He has taught these strategies to highly ranked golfers and tennis players.