The Institute for Advanced Developement | Dr. Larry Iverson | Strategies for Success | Creating Exceptional Health, Happiness, Relationships and Wealth
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Negative Self-Talk Eliminator


Healthy Reactions To Criticism – How Do You Handle Feedback?

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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 12)

(…continued from last week)

Strategies for Managing the Critic

There are many components to managing or coping with criticism. Sometimes it’s directly standing in there and dealing with it. Sometimes it’s diffusing it. Sometimes it is finding a way to move away from it.

There are various strategies for dealing with this negative feedback that comes in from others. What works best for someone else may not work well for you at all.

In order for any of these methods for handling this externally received negativity to work well, they must be practiced. Overviewing these one time is not going to help you. Repetition of usage is what you have to do.

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Practice and rehearse these, use them over and over to help break free of all reactive patterns. That gut reaction is what gets us in trouble. Take care of yourself. Practice these things.


One thing to do that will assist you in maintaining your power is to relax. Often when negative input comes in, the first thing that happens is one becomes tense or tightens up.

This will put you into a defensive or aggressive posture.

It changes the emotional tone of the voice. It makes it harder to think of an effective response. Before your respond, do what grandma always recommended. Take a deep breath, or two or three or four. Take it in and hold it a moment. Unclench your hands. Unclench your jaw. Relax yourself a bit, and ease the tension in your face and your body. Chill…. Take a moment right then and relax your physiology.

This relax process is one of the very best things that you can do, it works every time.

Hold Back

We need to hold back. The intention of the other person using the indirect, hostile, or non-verbal criticism is to get a rise out of you. It happens because they want to see you become provoked.

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When you manage yourself and your response, when you hold back a bit, when you don’t just gut respond, then you take away some of the payoff they get from the game. You can manage you and it stops them from getting some of the satisfaction they get from poking you.

Avoid Retaliation

Another thing that must be done is avoid retaliation. Don’t immediately turn the focus back on them,

“Oh yeah?! Well yesterday you said you’d have this done and you didn’t did you?! No!” It’s really tempting but it doesn’t help things go better. It makes the other person feel they haven’t been heard. They oftentimes will come back even more forcefully. Avoid retaliation, don’t give that negativity back, it does not help you nor them.

Consider Your Safety

You need to consider your own safety. There are times that some hostile people can become physically violent.

This is going to especially be a concern when you know the person has a violent past or if the person confronting you is a stranger.

If you know them and their signals, and they become more and more threatening, you need to get out of there.

Don’t worry about their reaction to you leaving or moving on. Averting violence is much more important than coming up with the best assertive response. It’s not going to help you, it’s not going to help them.

(to be continued…)

Has this program caught your interest? Just can’t wait to hear the next segment? Or perhaps you’d like to download the entire program to your phone or tablet and listen during your travels? You can purchase and immediately receive this entire program as a digital download. Order Now: I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left!

Overcoming Stress to Avoid Burnout. Have you ever said “Doing that stresses me out”? Perhaps you’ve felt kinks in your neck or shoulders after a day at work? Maybe you feel tension when you have to perform certain tasks? These are frequently the result of stress. Stress has become a major problem in in the 21st century. Stress-related mental and physical disorders have become the number one social and health problem in the last decade. Standard medical texts used in the United States and Europe state that as much as 50% of all illnesses may be related to mental or physical stress origins. This may include: Ulcers, cardiovascular disorders, hypertension, panic and anxiety disorders, colitis, high blood pressure, insomnia, sexual dysfunctions, inability to concentrate for an extended period of time, feeling low on energy, frequent headaches, lower back, neck and shoulder pain, and much more. You don’t have to be a victim of these. Start applying stress busting strategies today! Toast will show you how stress is generated and what you can do to break the stress cycle. Even if you are in a situation where what is stressing you isn’t going to stop, you will learn step-by-step systems for eliminating your body’s stress response which can cause physical or psychological problems.