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What Are The Two Most Important Aspects Of Your Life?

How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 4 of 16)

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(…continued from last week)

Making Your Life Happen

There are two parts to your life, whether it’s your career, your family, your hobbies, your church group, being involved in social groups—in all areas of your life, there are really only two aspects.

The first part of life is the goal you desire, the task that needs to be done, or the service you provide. It’s the thing you are doing—the work, the task, the goal, the service.

The second part is the relationships that surround what you are doing. How do you get along with others in all those life experiences? Do you have great connections, or can people not stand to be around you?

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So the two parts are the goal and the relationships. Neither one is any more important than the other one.

And again it doesn’t matter whether it’s raising a family or starting a new corporation or doing a hobby, there’s two parts to it. The task you’re doing and the way you go about dealing with the people in the midst of doing whatever that task is.

The Task & The Relationships

Let’s say that you go to a restaurant. Is there a difference between a fast food restaurant and a really exceptional 5 star, internationally rated, amazing restaurant? There is absolutely a difference.

You will pay less money at a fast food restaurant, you expect a different kind of service, different kind of food. The fast food restaurant is fine, when you go there you know what kind of food you’ll receive, how they will treat you, and it’s ok with you. For what you pay, the food is ok and the service is fine.

But, when you go to the five star restaurant you have an entirely different picture in your mind of the type of service and the quality of food you’ll receive there.

What’s Acceptable

Let’s say that you go to a five star restaurant. After being seated at your table, you order your dinner and then you wait. When they bring the dinner to you it’s absolutely amazing. It’s just delicious. But it takes them three and a half hours to get your dinner on the table. Is that ok? I doubt it.

Well, let’s turn it around and say that instead of the lousy service, there is absolutely the most stupendous, best service in town. There is one waiter dedicated to every single table. You take a drink of water, they give you more water. You take a sip of coffee, they give you more coffee. You take a bite of roll, they put another roll on your plate. They are right on top of it. But when your dinner comes, the food is so bad that you can barely gag it down. Is that ok? No.

What you want at this 5 star restaurant is, 1. reasonable service at a decent price, and 2. you want the food to be good, right?

Your Personal Tasks & The Relationships

Let’s look at you and your life. Let’s say at your work you are the best at doing your job of anyone in the history of the organization. If this was the Olympics you would be winning a gold medal. You are the one who is absolutely, positively the best of the best.

But-you are such a nasty mean sucker that nobody can stand you. People avoid you like the plague. Do you think even if you are wonderful at doing that job, but you have absolutely no people skills what so ever, that’s going to work very well? Short term maybe—long term no.

Let’s turn it around. Let’s say that you are so wonderful that people just want to be around you all the time. They follow you around, they love you. They just want to be wherever you are. But you don’t have a brain in your head and you couldn’t do that job if you had to. Is that ok? I don’t think so. You need to have both—wouldn’t you say? You need to have people skills to deal with human beings in every situation and you need to have the ability to do the task and get the job done effectively.

These are parts of persuasiveness, of command presence, of making your life work and taking it to the next level. You need to have both of these things in every area – career, family, hobbies, relationships. There’s the task to be done and there are the relationships.

Presence is about having the ability to work in both venues—the task and the relationships, to bring these together in such a way that works for you and for the people you encounter.

(to be continued…)

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