(continued from last week…)

It’s important that your advisor, mentor, or coach be a good listener. They need to be an encourager, but they also need to be a good listener and participate actively by listening to what you say and sifting through your words and your ideas so that they can help you to come up with something of benefit.

Great advisors make good decisions, they make good choices because they have wisdom behind them. They have gained this through experience and through knowledge and from listening to other people. How do you acquire wisdom? How does it work in decisions? Wisdom is acquired by gaining knowledge and learning to apply that knowledge to your life, to your routine, to your experience. Those events help you gain wisdom on how you want to act. People who are good decision makers have the ability to test the information, filter out the parts that are not true or don’t work, and then apply it in the ways that are beneficial to them and to those who depend on them. Find someone who is decisive.

Good mentors are truthful, sometimes even when it hurts. The best coaches will give you the right information. They are not worried necessarily about hurting your feelings, they don’t beat you up with it either, but they will tell you what’s real, they will talk to you about what they see, what’s actually happening, and don’t try and cover it up or hide it from you. If they don’t tell you something you need to know, they are not doing you a favor. They are truthful, they have honesty and integrity. A good adviser will come right out and say “Here is my opinion, here is what I see, here is what I know works, here are ways you can apply it”.

People who make good mentors and coaches have reasonably good relationships. When you see someone who has great relationships with their family members, with the people around them, with loyalty to who they work with, you’re seeing someone who has ability to build value. Every job has two parts; the task itself and the relationships with the people involved.

When you find someone who has good relationships you have found someone who has skills which you can glean from. That integrity, that relationship building, is an important part that can help you with the task part of your job.

One of the things great mentors and coaches also do is they acknowledge success; they celebrate your success. They want you to succeed. They look for ways to help you get where you want to go. They have a stake in seeing you succeed, even if there’s no money changing hands. They feel good about assisting you and assisting you makes you both better in the process.

The Attitude for Winning

Sometimes the difference between winning and not winning is how convinced someone is about their ability to win. It’s not just thinking you’re going to win and hoping it, but you’re planning, you’re working, you’re taking action, you’re moving, you expect things to go the way you want them to go because you’re learning, growing, changing and you’re making activities moving in the direction of your desired outcome.

There is a significant difference between people who do great things and people who do not. People who accomplish much do it by taking daily action towards their objectives. They don’t stop, they keep moving, they keep growing, and they keep taking action. Planning, preparing, and expecting all work together to put us in motion and take action.

You must plan to win by setting goals, by creating those steps to move you, preparing, getting coached, finding activities that are moving you daily towards those things that strengthen you to get where you want to go. Daily investment must be made in your future. You are making deposits regularly by your action or your inaction that’s going to speed you up or slow you down from the future you desire.

If you do all of this daily; planning, taking action, thinking, being persistent and tenacious, you can expect to have a great life. To win you need to release worry. Worrying quite often makes problems worse. Worry does not change results; there is a certain part of worry that comes with being human. When things don’t go the way we want, we get concerned. Some concerns are legitimate, some concerns about our health, our finances, our personal-professional relationships. We need to be concerned about some things.

(to be continued…)

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