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(…continued from last week)

Beginning to Manage Conflict

In all human experience there is the potential for conflict. There are only two forms—conflicts inside of you, with yourself, or conflicts between you and other people. No matter what the conflict is, part of it is controllable and part of it is not, and the only part that is controllable is you, how you manage yourself, what you do, what you say.

The 4 Types of Conflict

There are only four types of conflicts you can have with a person who is being difficult.

First, there’s a conflict of roles and responsibilities, who’s to do what, who’s got the power, who has authority, whose territory is it, who’s supposed to be responsible for what’s going on, what’s the person’s knowledge of the subject, who has the most knowledge.

The second is a goals and needs conflict, what information is needed, what are the goals you’re trying to achieve, what result are you trying to attain, what need you are trying to fill. Read more »

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(…continued from last week)

Upside and Downside to Conflict

Every difficult person you deal with, every conflictual experience you face in life is rich with both positive and negative potential. It can be a source of tangible or intangible gain, inspiration, enlightenment, learning, growth, or anger, fear, shame, or guilt, feeling trapped or feeling resistant. The choice really is not up to the difficult person but it’s up to us and our willingness to face and work through the situation.

When you are dealing with that difficult person and the conflict begins, you need to find ways to maintain personal control which means giving up the scenario of seeing ourselves as the victim, as picked on, as the person who’s in the downward position.

We don’t have to see the other person as the enemy. It requires that we give up our fear of engaging in honest communication with somebody even if you distrust them or even if they are blasting into you at the moment. Read more »

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(…continued from last week)

Getting Resourceful

When dealing with a difficult person it causes us to become more resourceful. You have to figure out new and innovative ways to manage the situation and deal with them. In many cases it will cause you to become a better communicator, to be able to think on your feet, to manage the situation, and to try new things you’ve never done before.

Not all parts of dealing with a difficult person are bad, though there is a dark side to the conflict that you deal with.

When people are in conflict they often times say things that they don’t mean, and they mean things that never get said. Rarely do we communicate at the deepest level what we really mean, what we honestly feel and what really is being thought. Rarely do people expose their most vulnerable parts.

In a conflict we find that other people frequently don’t hear us. Why do people fall into this trap? Why is it so hard to do what we need to do and to manage the situation with this difficult person in an honorable way? Why do buttons get pushed? Read more »

Order and download this entire eight-part audio program.

Welcome to “The Essentials to Dealing with Difficult People and Tough Situations”.

Conflict is normal, having run-ins with others is normal, unless you live alone, hide away in a cave, never talk with anyone else, you will have conflicts, it’s part of life. Yet how effectively you deal with the conflict situations and difficult people when they come by, is really up to you.

I’m going to give you multiple strategies to help you better deal with those situations you encounter in your life. In every case there’s an emotional response that people get when conflict happens. Quite often the people you deal with are getting some sort of emotional payoff by being negative. How do you take away the emotional payoff they get for being negative? We’ll talk about how to do that. Read more »

In 1971 Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA published his book “Silent Messages”. In it he said that communication is 55% visual, 38% tonal, and only 7% the words we say.

Since his book was released there has been massive scientific research documenting his findings. This same research also supports the general observations made by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 300 years prior. Read more »

Compare the normal adult imagination to that of a child. It’s the difference between a 5 watt light bulb and a 1,000,000 watt search light.

You wouldn’t want to live your life in the fantasy world that most children reside in, but your imagination is crucial. Read more »

Have you ever wished for something to happen? You really wanted it, but took no action to make it become real? Haven’t we all….

While in New York attending the “white coat” ceremony for my son Nick, who was beginning medical school at Einstein School of Medicine, I had a great conversation with one of the professors—Dr. Todd Olson.

He talked about the ability to really make a positive impact. He said he and his associates could see when they were hitting the mark in their teaching.

Dr. Olson said, “I think I have one of the best jobs in the world! I get to teach young men and women who are absolutely passionate about their future.

They have had to work very hard to get in to medical school or they never would have made it. They are excited about learning, and are proactively working to make a difference in their world.”
Read more »

How many times have you told yourself, “When I have ________ (money, time, better health, etc.) then I’ll be able to _________ (change the world, etc., etc., etc.)”

Or you’ve convinced yourself that, “When they finally do ______ (quit picking on me, make me a manager, etc.), then I can ________ (be happy, whatever.)”

There may even be a bit of truth to those statements—but that’s not all that you are. That’s not all you can do. No matter what circumstance you are in right now Read more »