How to Create a Commanding Presence – Strategies for Building Charisma and Connection to Communicate Powerfully and Persuasively – (Part 1 of 16)

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(…continued from last week)

Influence Is Essential

Do you ever wonder how to become more influential? Would you like to know how to easily get people to instantly accept and like you? What if you knew the verbal and nonverbal tactics that can get people to immediately believe you and give you credibility? Well, soon you will. Today you are going to learn strategies that can assist you in building this winning Command Presence.

I have a question for you. Are you in sales? Well, even if you’re not-you are. Every single person is in sales. Every single day you are selling.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 14)

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Don’t Try to Change Them

Don’t try to change their mind. Don’t try and control them.

They have a right to their opinions. Even if they’re wrong, they have a right to their opinions.

If you try and force them to change, you give them power. Don’t keep justifying it, don’t keep explaining, don’t keep arguing endlessly until they agree with you. Just acknowledge and let it go.

They may never agree with you. They don’t have to. You don’t need them to. You just need to deal with the situation honestly and let them think their thoughts.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 13)

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Don’t Demand Perfection

Also, don’t demand perfection. Most people aren’t all that great at providing negative feedback.

One option is to demand that every single little piece of input from them is perfect in each detail. Quite often when you receive this input there may be a grain of truth in it. Well, you want to find that grain of truth. Of course we don’t particularly like to hear the negativity, but if there’s truth in it, we need to get that. It can be of significant benefit.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 12)

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Strategies for Managing the Critic

There are many components to managing or coping with criticism. Sometimes it’s directly standing in there and dealing with it. Sometimes it’s diffusing it. Sometimes it is finding a way to move away from it.

There are various strategies for dealing with this negative feedback that comes in from others. What works best for someone else may not work well for you at all.

In order for any of these methods for handling this externally received negativity to work well, they must be practiced. Overviewing these one time is not going to help you. Repetition of usage is what you have to do.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 11)

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Reactions to Negative Input

In his book Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams said, “A learning experience is one of those things that says, “You know that thing you just did? DON’T DO THAT!!!” ”

The way you react to criticism is one of those “…DON’T DO THAT!” kinds of experiences. But it happens so rapidly, so automatically that it’s almost faster than the speed of light sometimes.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 10)

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Hostile Criticism

The third type of negativity or this negative input you can receive is hostile.

In this case this criticism and negative feedback is encased in aggression. Unlike the non-verbal and the indirect, this aggressive content is very obvious and open.

People may invade your space, they may tower over you, they give you strong negative or hostile looks, they may take on an aggressive posture towards you. They may talk louder, they may attempt to stare you down, it could be something like blaming, “You are terrible, you’re a bungler, you keep blowing this!” Direct hostility.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 9)

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You Can Gain

Martin Luther King said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

When that crabby individual tries to latch on to you with their claws, you need to get hold of you.

Negative feedback, negative input can be really hard to figure-out because you may not have any idea where in the heck it’s coming from, just that it’s happening. Responding with personal control and appropriate rational comments can be very difficult to do at times.
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I’ve Only Got Three Nerves Left – And You Are Pinching Two Of Them (Part 8)

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The Four Kinds of Conflict

There are four primary kinds of conflict that you can experience with someone: 1) conflict of roles and responsibilities, 2) goals and needs, 3) values and beliefs, and 4) perceptions and point-of-view.

Conflict of roles and responsibilities is about who has the power, who is in authority, who’s territory is this, who has the upper hand, who has the knowledge, what are they trying to do, what is their role in this situation?
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